infertility | baby proofed parents

Meet Jean Busch. Jean is the owner of Kingwood Acupuncture in Kingwood, Texas. Her acupuncture practice has been thriving for 16 years, because she’s so passionate about health and balance, and it shows. Jean worked as a nurse in the hospital setting (ICU/CCU, Medical/Surgery, OB/GYN and Neonatal ICU) for over 20 years before being introduced to Chinese Medicine. She describes her discovery of acupuncture as “life changing,” and has gone on to do amazing things for many, many people… myself included.

Every woman who’s struggled with infertility and then become pregnant has her theory about what made it happen. No two stories seem to be exactly alike. Part of what I personally believe got me pregnant was an acupuncture treatment with Jean. I was venting to her about my frustration, how I felt like I was doing everything I was “supposed” to, and it was getting rough to feel that high and then sinking disappointment month after month. She told me she believed that I was very healthy and fertile, but that my body might just need a “nudge” in the right direction. Jean’s treatment was incredible. I’d never had acupuncture before, and during the session, I felt completely relaxed and as though I was levitating. After, I felt like I’d had a 2 hour full body massage… so, obviously no harm there. Plus, I was pregnant within a month. – C

BPP: Your history is rooted in nursing. What drew you to study and practice acupuncture?
JL: Honestly, I was always disillusioned by western medicine. I was passionate about caring for people, but frustrated and confused about the methods used for chronic illnesses. Having acupuncture myself and for my family and seeing first hand the natural and almost miraculous benefits it provided, showed me that I could use my passion in a way that was totally natural and yet extremely powerful.

BPP: What are some ways acupuncture treatments can help women who are struggling with fertility?
JL: Fertility and all other OB/GYN issues are my favorite things to treat. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a13 year old with menstrual pain, a woman with menopausal imbalances, or someone having a problem getting pregnant, I can honestly say that acupuncture and Chinese medicine have never failed. Maybe it’s because being a woman myself, I know that we experience problems that are so easily treatable by alternative medicine like acupuncture.

BPP: What are some ways acupuncture treatments can help women during pregnancy and after birth?
JL: Chinese Medicine works because it views the human being in a totally different way than allopathic medicine. It sees us as a whole being, not separating mind, body, and spirit. That said, it can diagnose and treat issues based on that perspective. The body is simply assisted to return to a healthy balanced state, it “reminds” it of what it knows to do naturally and on its own. So, for pregnancy, birth and postpartum, acupuncture gently corrects the imbalance and allows the intelligence of our bodies to do what it already knows to do with ease.

BPP: What general health improvements do you find yourself recommending to women over and over?
JL: It probably is the most disappointing advice that I give all my clientele, and that is to eat really healthy foods. That sounds simple, however, our perspective of what constitutes “healthy” can be very different. The medicine of Chinese medicine IS our food, so to speak. Basically, we truly are what we eat. Also, as balanced a lifestyle as we can have. This is a challenge in our hectic lives! It’s a process, but forming habits like yoga, meditation, walking, or whatever we enjoy will help us feel better and better about ourselves.

BPP: What myths about acupuncture do you often find yourself dispelling?
JL: The most common “myth” about acupuncture, to me, is that it’s “just sticking a few needles in some random areas of the body.” Most people don’t realize that it is a Medicine in and of itself. The profession is highly regulated in most states. In Texas, it takes a Masters degree in Oriental Medicine, which takes four full years followed by a national board exam to be a licensed acupuncturist. It is a complex system of understanding the body in a totally different way that we do in western medicine.

BPP: What thoughts do you have on acupuncture for babies and children?
JL: I’ve treated children as young as four years old with acupuncture. It really depends on the child, most are more curious than frightened. We only use a small number of needles in children and use the tiniest little needles. On children younger than that we can use a technique with small silver or gold “pellets” on the acupuncture points. This is actually an extremely effective method and can be used on adults as well. Kids are GREAT! They are so fun, and because they can tell they feel so much better they will ask to come back for more treatments!

BPP: Your practice involves more than needles. What other techniques/treatments do you use for women?
JL: Acupuncture uses very fine needles to tap into the bio electrical energy, called “Qi”, of our bodies to remind it how to return to a balance state of health. That said, I use the needles as my main form of treatment. However, Chinese herbs, diet, and various supplements are an integral part of most acupuncturist regime along with the needles. I also stay with the client and do a form of “healing touch” called medical Qi Gong. This, I would say, is my specialty and believe that it is a powerful tool that eventuates the treatment greatly. Most acupuncturists will develop their own individual “spin” on their treatments as they see what works best for their patients over the years.

BPP: Many moms struggle to incorporate self-care, including acupuncture, massage and therapy treatments. What advice do you have for them?
JL: This is such an important question! How do we, as busy moms, fit in self care?? This is what I continue to learn myself and encourage other women to realize: “Taking care of ourselves is the number one priority!” Our families and the people around us will be healthier and appreciate us more for being happy, healthy and calm ourselves. It is not helpful when we are running around exhausted, frazzled and irritable because we are trying to do everything for everyone else but don’t take the time to take care of ourselves.

BPP: If you could give one sanity saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
JL: The above answer fits this question as well. I also, think that talking with others, sharing our experiences, fears and frustrations is extremely helpful. I am not a psychologist, but I allow my clients to express their feelings and listen with an open mind and heart, which is very therapeutic.
It may sound trite, but I believe that being in a space of an open heart and a loving, nonjudgmental spirit, is the key to finding peace within ourselves and others…allowing our children and others to just be who they are without trying to make them what we judge to be “right”. It will take a huge load off of our shoulders to grasp the concept that we are not the CEOs of the universe, it’s not our job to control our children or others. Our job is to gently care for the general well-being of them, honoring their individual uniqueness.

Thank you Jean, for sharing your beautiful philosophy on holistic health. Your compassion, openness and skills are such amazing gifts!

C&K ♥

It took me a long time to get pregnant. Approximately four years, from the time I first thought, Hmmm. I might be ready for a baby, to the morning I saw those two pink lines miraculously show up on the pregnancy test.

It was a journey that began gradually and naively for my husband and me; I simply tossed the rectangular box of tiny white pills in the trash one day and confidently waited for my body to do its thing. As the months and years passed, and no pregnancy appeared, my yearning grew stronger. I consulted with acupuncturists, fertility specialists and the most vociferous expert of all, The Internet. In the end, I can’t really tell you the exact combination of diet changes and fertility magic that caused us to conceive a child. What I can say is that those four years of infertility prepared me for the Adventure of Parenthood in six very specific ways:

1. The best laid plans…
When my husband and I first gave ourselves the green light to get pregnant it was because the “timing was right”. We lived in a great neighborhood, we were established in our careers and we had individually attended enough Margarita Parties to satisfy a lifetime quota of tequila. My hubby was quite a bit older than me, and we were both ready to settle down and do the family thing. We had no idea that this “thing” would take four years and that it didn’t matter how “ready” we were. Our bodies would cooperate in their own time.

Parenting App: How many times do parents plan out the perfect day, only to be foiled by a runny nose, sore throat or volcanic tantrum? When you’re a parent, it is wise to mark the calendar, make the plans, but be prepared to break them and go with the flow at a moment’s notice.

2. You’re surrounded.
Have you ever purchased a new car and suddenly you start noticing the same make and model everywhere you go? That is what it is like when you are trying to get pregnant. There are friggin’ babies everywhere. Women pregnant with babies. Men holding babies. Parents loving on their babies (with little angels and birdies surrounding them). It feels like the entire universe is sticking out its tongue and taunting, “Nah, nah, nah, nah… you aren’t pregnant.” Even your co-worker’s cousin’s wife is expecting… and you aren’t. I gradually learned to tune out the baby-white-noise, and reassure myself that it would happen in its own time. After all, I reminded myself, I am defined by much more than my desire to conceive.

Parenting App: After you have a little one, you will continue to find yourself surrounded by other parents and their cherubic babes. Resist the urge to make comparisons (i.e. whether your baby is snoozing, walking or talking at the same rate as the others). Every child’s journey is unique and the comparisons are fruitless. They all tend to catch up to each other in the end.

3. Everyone is an expert.
Most of the people who knew I was trying to get pregnant had well-intentioned words of wisdom to share. They had heard of a specialist who could help. They knew something I should cut out from my diet. They had struggled with infertility themselves and they just felt sure it was going to happen for me. I regretted telling so many people that we were trying. Can’t we just go back to discussing my awesome new wedges or the great movie we saw last weekend? I had to learn to take their advice gracefully and then remind myself that my body is unique and I know it better than anyone else.

Parenting App: If you think everyone has opinions about fertility, just wait until you have a baby. Have child in arms, and everyone loves to give their child-rearing advice. As Cheryl advises in Pimp My Self Care, absorb the pointers that feel like a fit and then custom design your own parenting protocols.

4. It’s never going to happen.
During the four years that my husband and I were trying, I swear that I funded an entire pregnancy test industry. I bought them in bulk and I grew to despise them. Peeing on a stick was unpleasant enough, but seeing that I was not pregnant, yet again, was devastating. I felt all hope and belief that I was going to be a mother slipping away. Looking back, I now recognize that the creeping pessimism was unfounded. There was so much more that my husband and I could have done to have a child: fertility treatments, surrogacy, adoption. Yes, I would have grieved if I couldn’t conceive naturally, but the options were endless if I truly wanted to be a parent.

Parenting App: When you are raising babies, the word “never” will sneak in frequently: I’ll never get a full night’s sleep again. He’ll never go a day without an accident. We’ll never get through a week without vomit or snot or pee. Those ‘nevers’ can feel daunting. I promise you that the nevers transition into sometimes and then into always. Keep your eye on the prize – it’s right around the corner.

5. Chill out.
OK, I have to skip back to #3 on this one. One of the most popular bits of advice I received when I was trying to conceive was, “Just relax. You’ll get pregnant when you aren’t worrying about it.” I hate to admit it (and I HATED this advice) but they were right. When I began enjoying my life again… dancing, frolicking, partying like it’s 1999, it happened. I saw those two lines on that little test and could hardly believe my eyes. Yes, I had taken other measures: cut out sugar and dairy, started natural progesterone cream, endured a diagnostic procedure that painfully blasted blue ink through my fallopian tubes. But I feel sure that chilling out a little and tuning into other segments of my life helped my body to ease into motherhood.

Parenting App: It is natural to feel uptight and want to do everything just right when you are a parent. When you loosen your grip and recognize that your children benefit from variety and imperfections, both you and your kids will enjoy life a little more.

6. Love, love, love…
I’m channeling the Beatles here. But I couldn’t have said it any better myself. At the end of any infertility journey is a leap from a high-dive platform into pure, unadulterated love. I have friends who have had unexpected pregnancies, friends who have undergone extensive fertility treatments, and friends who have ultimately adopted. And when we gather together with our kids, there is no sliver of a difference in the love that each of us feel for our children.

Worth the four year wait.

If your desire to become a parent is strong enough, you will find a way to make it happen. And when you do, you will feel the most unrelinquishing love (and sometimes unrelinquishing fatigue and frustration) that you have ever experienced in your life. Everyone’s path to parenthood is unique but in the end, you get to hold a beautiful child, and the journey that brought you to that place will make the most perfect sense.

Here’s to Margarita Parties and Love,

Kirsten

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The Acupuncturist :: Wednesday Wisdom

How Infertility Prepared Me for Parenthood :: Monday Musing