prenatal | baby proofed parents

Postpartum Survival Guide :: Wednesday Wisdom

May 27, 2015 By: babyproofedparentscomment

This invaluable list of suggestions for new parents was originally posted on the Austin Born Blog. We loved it so much, we asked if we could share it with our followers. The list was compiled by a group of new mothers who were attending The Circle, a postpartum group offered for when motherhood is not Pinterest perfect.

This new motherhood gig can be tough — we believe that support from our peers is an important part of working through the struggles and ultimately finding joy. At the last Circle meetup, we talked about how a mother is born every time that a first baby is born. In spite of this truth, becoming a mother is not always something that happens simply and effortlessly. In fact, we are finding that giving birth to this new aspect of our identities is a lot more challenging than we thought it would be, back in our pre-baby days. We all spent a lot of time preparing for the birth of our babies–we took classes, hired doulas, read books, bought stuff–but so little time and energy preparing our selves to become mothers. We wanted to offer some advice to our friends who haven’t had their babies yet, so they could be a bit more prepared than we were. Here is our collective wisdom, from some new mamas to soon-to-be mamas:

Plan.

Don’t wait to figure it out on the fly. Don’t obsess about the birth to the exclusion of what comes after. The birth is one day (maybe two), but your baby will be yours for the rest of your life.

Start now reflecting on your needs and planning ahead for the weeks and months after baby. Think, “Who am I? What things do I need to have space and time to do to feel like myself?” This could be anything from time to read the New York Times on Sunday morning to a chance to go to Target by yourself to whatever floats your boat. What do you need to feel like you? Communicate this to your partner and make it a priority after baby.

Find help and outsource what you can before baby arrives.

Find a new mom group and a lactation consultant before you desperately need them and are too tired and frazzled to search.

Instead of a lot of cute onesies, register for things like a prepared meal service, diaper service, cleaning service, postpartum doula care, and new mom group fees (such as an AustinMama Pass or Partners in Parenting). This kind of stuff is going to help you a lot more than 20 receiving blankets.

Slow down.

You are not going to bounce back to your old life anytime soon after giving birth. You will have more on your plate than you can imagine right now, and the demands of your baby will at times seem overwhelming. Do not expect to do everything or even most things you used to do.

Celebrate the small achievements.

Driving alone with baby for the first time. Waking up before your baby does without panicking that she/he has stopped breathing. Brushing your teeth and taking a shower before noon. Right now you can’t imagine how enormous these accomplishments will seem to you, but when they come, celebrate them. Tell yourself what an amazing job you are doing, and be proud.

Tell your friends to keep calling you.

Sometimes a big gulf can open up between friends-who-are-now-moms and friends-who-are-child-free. This doesn’t have to be so, and no one really wants it to happen. So tell your friends to keep inviting you to things, but to not take it personally or give up asking if you decline the invitation 9 times out of 10. It is nice to know that people still want you around.

You can’t win.

No matter what choice you make, there will be guilt and blame. If you choose to stay home with your child and not return to paid work right away, you will miss being with people and feeling the sense of accomplishment you used to feel at your job well done. If you choose to return to your outside job, you will feel guilty about leaving your child with others and even about enjoying your time away. This is just one hot-button example, but there are a million parenting decisions to make about feeding/sleeping/diapering/training/clothing/whatever your child, and there will always be a voice in your head and several voices around you telling you that you have chosen wrongly. You have to decide what is right for you, and tell everyone (including your own inner guilt-voice) to shut up.

Every baby is different, and everyone has their own story.

No one has all the answers, because your relationship with your baby is unique. Reading too many baby-care books and mommy blogs can make you crazy. Be kind to yourself. Also be kind to other moms, because you have no idea what they are dealing with. And if you end up caring for your newborn in a way you did not envision yourself doing it, don’t feel guilty. Cut yourself a break, and remember that you are doing the best you can with what you’ve got.

It does get better.

Every new mom struggles with something — don’t believe that anyone’s social media account tells the whole story. What we all put on Facebook is the highlight reel of our lives. It is not reality.

The days of new parenthood are loooooooooong, but with time you will find your way out of the haze and feel more and more like yourself again. Finding community and reminding yourself that you are not alone in this helps tremendously. At least it has for us!

If you live in Austin and would like to get more of this ongoing support and wisdom, consider putting an AustinMama Pass from Austin Born on your registry. Try all the groups, and find the one that meets your needs. Thanks again to the new mamas and doulas at Austin Born for sharing their wisdom and support! – C & K ♥

So, You’re Not A Baby Person :: Monday Musing

May 4, 2015 By: babyproofedparents1 Comment

My best friend in college was really into babies. Like, really. She loved to coo at them and cuddle with them. So much so, that for her 20th birthday, when she was not even close to starting a family, I gave her the gorgeously illustrated, Anne Geddes Baby Name Keepsake Book. Strange gift for a 20 yr old… but for her, it made sense. I just knew that she was destined to become an incredible mother who loved her littles with every inch of her being.

I, on the other hand, was not much of a baby person. I liked kids and I definitely liked babysitting them for extra income. But I didn’t gravitate toward infants like my friend, Liz. If we were hanging out at a coffee shop, and there was a lady sitting next to us with a newborn and a dog, Liz would be admiring the baby and I would be petting the terrier. That was just how we rolled.

When I hit my late 20’s, my maternal instincts kicked into high gear with a jolt and I suddenly wanted to have a baby more than anything in the world. Ask my husband – I was on an maniacal mission to become a mother. It took several years to get pregnant, but when when I finally got the positive test, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I was officially a “baby person”, right?

Well, sort of.

My newborn arrived and I loved, loved, LOVED him. I thought he was the most beautiful thing in the world. But there were days when I felt bored out of my mind whilst cooing at him, or singing to him, or playing peek-a-boo for the 56th time. Life seemed pretty mundane and repetitive at times. I found myself thinking, Oh, won’t it be nice when he can feed himself OR when he is potty trained and I don’t have to change diapers OR when we can go out and about on long adventures.

It will be nice when he is older, I thought.

My husband, not being much of a baby person himself, whole-heartedly agreed. We were ready for our babies to be non-babies so we could have long conversations with them and take them out to see the world.

Fast forward ten years, and we have officially arrived at the non-baby stage. We have two big strapping boys who debate every subject and run ahead of us on hiking trails. They’re independent, they’re fun and they are definitely not infants any more. The irony of it all? There are moments when I yearn for the newborn stage again. Perhaps I have a case of “the grass is greener”. Perhaps I’m crazy. Or perhaps I now appreciate the incredible amount of love, growth and effort that contributed to my sweet babies morphing into young men and I want to revisit and cherish that intense yet fleeting period.

These days, if I’m talking to an expectant dad or mom who has never considered him or herself to be a baby fanatic and is feeling a little anxious about becoming a parent, I give them these simple tips:

My Three Suggestions for Non-Baby Folks:

1. If you’re expecting a little one, and you’ve never been much of a baby person before, don’t fret. There is nothing in the world like having your own kiddo. You are going to grow to love that little person passionately, and you will also figure out how to take care of them with time. No experience needed.

2. After baby arrives, if singing nursery rhymes or stacking blocks for two hours straight causes your head to hurt, make sure to schedule regular non-baby time for yourself: coffee out with a friend, date night with your partner, GNO with your besties, or even returning to work part- or full-time. After short breathers from your babe, you’ll find yourself rushing home, excited to jump back into the nightly bath and bedtime routine. The first three years of our babies’ lives are irreplaceable, developmentally and experientially, so take care of yourself so you can be fully present for them.

3. Savor the baby years. I know this seems counter-intuitive for us non-baby people. But our kids really are babies for a very short period. So stare at their little hands. Listen to their sweet, squeaky voices. Laugh when they do the same silly dance 15 times in a row. Relax your shoulders, breathe in their baby smell and know that it is all temporary.

Now when I see a woman at a coffee shop with a stroller and a dog, I gravitate toward the infant first. Perhaps I am fully converted to a “baby person”? I guess that can’t hurt since I do write for a baby blog. 😉

Here’s to Strength and Babies,

Kirsten

Pregnancy and Parenthood – More Alike Than Different :: Monday Musing

November 24, 2014 By: babyproofedparents1 Comment

Experiences in the baby and parenting world are often broken down into prenatal and postpartum. Before baby and after baby. With all of the emphasis on these two states of being, you would think that a new chronological era begins after the birth of your little one. This can feel daunting. The truth is that there are numerous parallels between pregnancy and parenting. I’m going to argue that the prenatal challenges you endure actually prepare your body and mind to raise a little person. Here’s how:

Ten Trillion Decisions: The second that you and your partner see the positive pregnancy test, the joint decisions begin. Hospital or home-birth? Doctor, midwife and/or doula? What baby items do you register for? And on and on… When baby arrives, the choices don’t end, but you’ve had nine months of practicing effective decision-making with your partner. Bring on the the options, you are ready to make whatever decision comes your way.

Reminder: Take one decision at a time. Don’t feel like you have to figure out everything at once. Decisions about sleep-training, discipline styles and day-care can wait! Gather the information, weigh out your options with your partner and make a choice that feels right to both of you. Most of the time, you can change your mind and adjust as you go.

Physical Strains and Discomfort: Everyone knows about the physical effects of pregnancy: morning sickness, heart burn, sleep disturbances. Even dads-to-be often report vicarious symptoms. When you become a new parent and recover from the birth, most of the physical ailments disappear completely. Well… the nipples of breastfeeding moms take a little bit of a beating. And of course sleeping conditions do not improve for awhile. A long while. Fortunately your body is not completely caught off guard by these conditions. You’ve endured a lot. You can cope with these challenges as well, we promise you.

Reminder: Self-care is essential for expectant and new parents. You are going through a lot, but if you take the time to rest when you can and reach out for help when needed, your body will not disappoint you and will rise to the occasion. Just wait, watch and be amazed…

Emotional Highs and Lows: Pregnancy brings with it a tsunami of hormones and emotions. Most women find that they cry more than ever and experience a wild swing in how they’re feeling from moment to moment. Expectant dads are not immune to the roller coaster either. Parenthood brings more feelings with it. Add sleep-deprivation and the vulnerability that comes a long with a new baby into the mix, and the emotions run rampant. You might find yourself feeling both ecstatic and exasperated, all at once.

Reminder: If you’ve been a person who has always tucked your feelings in tight, the roller coaster of emotions might feel overwhelming. See this as an opportunity to let down your walls and release your inner drama queen. Emotions are healthy and normal and you are about to experience a lot of them. Releasing and expressing your feelings will help you to be a better parent. Of course, as we’ve said many times before, if your emotions seem insurmountable it might be time to reach out to your doctor or a trained counselor and get some help. Please don’t hesitate if this is the case.

Breathe and Let Go: If you pop in on a childbirth class, you’ll hear a lot about deep-breathing, staying focused, thinking positively and relaxing. If you can remember to use these skills and techniques, they’ll help you through your labor and delivery. What the childbirth instructor often forgets to mention is that these same skills will be handy for the next 18 years! Parenting can be a wild ride – remembering to inhale, smile and relax will help you to weather the many challenges that come your way.

Reminder: Even if you learn and practice these relaxation skills, you might forget to use them when you need them the most. This is when your parenting partnership will come in handy. When you see your partner feeling overwhelmed, give them a hug, remind them to breathe, share a few encouraging words and offer to take over for a while. You two have practiced some serious skills – you can do this.

Pregnancy and parenthood are two parts of one amazing journey. If you and your partner have tackled a pregnancy together, you will already have many of the skills you need to raise a child. Pull from the strength and knowledge you have already gained and get ready to rock as a parent. We know you will be amazing.

Here’s to Strength and Similarities,

Kirsten

Why Am I Crying? :: Monday Musing

October 28, 2014 By: babyproofedparents6 Comments

A few days ago, I opened up one of those “iPhone auto-correct text mishaps” posts on the Internet, and within seconds, I was laughing so hard, I had tears running down my face. Real, wet-my-cheeks tears. This sensation of crying – without understanding what the heck I was crying about – immediately brought me back to my days of pregnancy and new motherhood. Looking back, I probably could have filled a salt-water aquarium with all of the prenatal and postpartum tears I shed.

Prior to having pregnancy hormones coursing through my body, I rarely cried in front of others. I actually took pride in the fact that I maintained a rather poker-faced exterior. My husband affectionately nicknamed me the Ice Princess (this was pre-Elsa, mind you) because the saddest, most sentimental movie couldn’t get me to tear up. The Notebook had nothing on me. I maintained this silly determination to stay dry-eyed.

All bets were off after I became pregnant. You only had to give me a sappy American Idol episode, a baby food commercial, or a mention of pregnancy from a passing stranger and I was immediately boo-hooing. When my baby arrived, the crying increased. I experienced tears of astonishment and joy as I stared at the amazing little creature in my arms. Tears over how damn hard a natural thing like breastfeeding seemed to be. Tears because I was sleep-deprived and, let’s face it, a little delirious. Happy and sad and exhausted tears. Not to mention the tears frequently coming from my newborn’s little eyes. We went from a quiet, stoic house to a home of sniffles and Kleenex.

So what was all this crying about? It turns out that the extremely small, almond-sized hypothalamus, which is at the core of our reptilian brain, can’t really tell the difference between being happy, sad, overwhelmed or stressed. It just knows when it is getting a strong, emotional signal and in turn, triggers our parasympathetic system, which then triggers our tear ducts. If you think about the times when you are crying, it is usually when you are having an overwhelmingly strong emotion. The tears almost act as an overflow valve, releasing some of your emotional tension and allowing your body to rest and reset. Add hormones and sleep-deprivation to already intense emotions, and the flood gates are open for business.

From a psychological and social perspective, the researcher, Dr. Oren Hasson argues that the act of crying demonstrates vulnerability. It helps people to trust and feel sympathy for you. Crying also communicates that you crave attachment. Hmmm…. I think he just perfectly described the needs of new parents and babies, don’t you?

For me, becoming a parent kicked my parasympathetic system into high gear… and it never turned off. Despite my pregnancy hormones being long gone and my kids growing older, I am still easily brought to tears, and I don’t try to hide them now. Vulnerability is currently my middle name. Our children get to cry openly and loudly. We should allow ourselves to let it go as well, whether we are laughing hysterically, feeling deeply touched or just plain sad. Crying is innately human and nothing to be ashamed of. When you are an expectant or new parent you might find yourself doing a lot of it. Just think of it as a pressure valve that is allowing you to release some steam and heaviness, calm your body and then move forward.

If you’re looking for a release right now, check out that humor post I was talking about, 35 of the Most Concerning Auto-Correct Fails of All Time. Be Warned: May contain 7th-grade-boy-level laughs, profanity, and just possibly, a few tears.

Here’s to Sanity and Kleenex,

Kirsten

The Acupuncturist :: Wednesday Wisdom

October 15, 2014 By: babyproofedparentscomment

Meet Jean Busch. Jean is the owner of Kingwood Acupuncture in Kingwood, Texas. Her acupuncture practice has been thriving for 16 years, because she’s so passionate about health and balance, and it shows. Jean worked as a nurse in the hospital setting (ICU/CCU, Medical/Surgery, OB/GYN and Neonatal ICU) for over 20 years before being introduced to Chinese Medicine. She describes her discovery of acupuncture as “life changing,” and has gone on to do amazing things for many, many people… myself included.

Every woman who’s struggled with infertility and then become pregnant has her theory about what made it happen. No two stories seem to be exactly alike. Part of what I personally believe got me pregnant was an acupuncture treatment with Jean. I was venting to her about my frustration, how I felt like I was doing everything I was “supposed” to, and it was getting rough to feel that high and then sinking disappointment month after month. She told me she believed that I was very healthy and fertile, but that my body might just need a “nudge” in the right direction. Jean’s treatment was incredible. I’d never had acupuncture before, and during the session, I felt completely relaxed and as though I was levitating. After, I felt like I’d had a 2 hour full body massage… so, obviously no harm there. Plus, I was pregnant within a month. – C

BPP: Your history is rooted in nursing. What drew you to study and practice acupuncture?
JL: Honestly, I was always disillusioned by western medicine. I was passionate about caring for people, but frustrated and confused about the methods used for chronic illnesses. Having acupuncture myself and for my family and seeing first hand the natural and almost miraculous benefits it provided, showed me that I could use my passion in a way that was totally natural and yet extremely powerful.

BPP: What are some ways acupuncture treatments can help women who are struggling with fertility?
JL: Fertility and all other OB/GYN issues are my favorite things to treat. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a13 year old with menstrual pain, a woman with menopausal imbalances, or someone having a problem getting pregnant, I can honestly say that acupuncture and Chinese medicine have never failed. Maybe it’s because being a woman myself, I know that we experience problems that are so easily treatable by alternative medicine like acupuncture.

BPP: What are some ways acupuncture treatments can help women during pregnancy and after birth?
JL: Chinese Medicine works because it views the human being in a totally different way than allopathic medicine. It sees us as a whole being, not separating mind, body, and spirit. That said, it can diagnose and treat issues based on that perspective. The body is simply assisted to return to a healthy balanced state, it “reminds” it of what it knows to do naturally and on its own. So, for pregnancy, birth and postpartum, acupuncture gently corrects the imbalance and allows the intelligence of our bodies to do what it already knows to do with ease.

BPP: What general health improvements do you find yourself recommending to women over and over?
JL: It probably is the most disappointing advice that I give all my clientele, and that is to eat really healthy foods. That sounds simple, however, our perspective of what constitutes “healthy” can be very different. The medicine of Chinese medicine IS our food, so to speak. Basically, we truly are what we eat. Also, as balanced a lifestyle as we can have. This is a challenge in our hectic lives! It’s a process, but forming habits like yoga, meditation, walking, or whatever we enjoy will help us feel better and better about ourselves.

BPP: What myths about acupuncture do you often find yourself dispelling?
JL: The most common “myth” about acupuncture, to me, is that it’s “just sticking a few needles in some random areas of the body.” Most people don’t realize that it is a Medicine in and of itself. The profession is highly regulated in most states. In Texas, it takes a Masters degree in Oriental Medicine, which takes four full years followed by a national board exam to be a licensed acupuncturist. It is a complex system of understanding the body in a totally different way that we do in western medicine.

BPP: What thoughts do you have on acupuncture for babies and children?
JL: I’ve treated children as young as four years old with acupuncture. It really depends on the child, most are more curious than frightened. We only use a small number of needles in children and use the tiniest little needles. On children younger than that we can use a technique with small silver or gold “pellets” on the acupuncture points. This is actually an extremely effective method and can be used on adults as well. Kids are GREAT! They are so fun, and because they can tell they feel so much better they will ask to come back for more treatments!

BPP: Your practice involves more than needles. What other techniques/treatments do you use for women?
JL: Acupuncture uses very fine needles to tap into the bio electrical energy, called “Qi”, of our bodies to remind it how to return to a balance state of health. That said, I use the needles as my main form of treatment. However, Chinese herbs, diet, and various supplements are an integral part of most acupuncturist regime along with the needles. I also stay with the client and do a form of “healing touch” called medical Qi Gong. This, I would say, is my specialty and believe that it is a powerful tool that eventuates the treatment greatly. Most acupuncturists will develop their own individual “spin” on their treatments as they see what works best for their patients over the years.

BPP: Many moms struggle to incorporate self-care, including acupuncture, massage and therapy treatments. What advice do you have for them?
JL: This is such an important question! How do we, as busy moms, fit in self care?? This is what I continue to learn myself and encourage other women to realize: “Taking care of ourselves is the number one priority!” Our families and the people around us will be healthier and appreciate us more for being happy, healthy and calm ourselves. It is not helpful when we are running around exhausted, frazzled and irritable because we are trying to do everything for everyone else but don’t take the time to take care of ourselves.

BPP: If you could give one sanity saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
JL: The above answer fits this question as well. I also, think that talking with others, sharing our experiences, fears and frustrations is extremely helpful. I am not a psychologist, but I allow my clients to express their feelings and listen with an open mind and heart, which is very therapeutic.
It may sound trite, but I believe that being in a space of an open heart and a loving, nonjudgmental spirit, is the key to finding peace within ourselves and others…allowing our children and others to just be who they are without trying to make them what we judge to be “right”. It will take a huge load off of our shoulders to grasp the concept that we are not the CEOs of the universe, it’s not our job to control our children or others. Our job is to gently care for the general well-being of them, honoring their individual uniqueness.

Thank you Jean, for sharing your beautiful philosophy on holistic health. Your compassion, openness and skills are such amazing gifts!

C&K ♥

Can I Do This? Facing Parenting Inadequacy Anxiety :: Monday Musing

October 13, 2014 By: babyproofedparents4 Comments

Kirsten’s awesome anxiety tip made a visual pop into my head: a big deck of gross cards, representing the multiple anxieties I had/have about motherhood. It took me a long time to connect with any sort of desire to have children, and when that drive finally became strong enough to push me through the intense fears that had repressed it, I struggled with infertility for over a year before getting pregnant. I had a little time to stack quite a few things to worry about. One of the biggest was in the form of a loaded question: Will I Suck as a Mom?

Most women I’m close with are naturally maternal, and always have been. Genetic’s tendency to skip certain people when handing out qualities, combined with the specifics of my childhood rendered me not naturally maternal. Growing up, my friends sweetly swaddled, fed and held their baby dolls, while mine dressed provocatively, drove around in my shoes (excellent barbie cars on a budget) and reenacted screaming matches between Erica and Palmer from “All My Children.” While I was still light years from wanting a baby, 7 of my close friends got pregnant within a year of each other. I watched each of their journeys, and the beautiful ways they stayed anchored to their natural maternal instincts through all of the struggles they experienced. I scanned myself for such an anchor, and felt lost.

It gets even more messed up. Anxiety has a way of dipping into your past and finding memories/connections to build its strength. It’s as if the anxiety tries to build a “factual” case to support and inflate itself. In third grade science, we had a classroom pet hamster who was pregnant. Our teacher suggested we have a prize drawing for which lucky students would get to take home the babies when they were old enough to become pets. This beautiful lesson on the magic of reproductivity went very wrong, when we arrived at school one morning greeted with the news that the night before, the mother hamster had given birth, and had then eaten her babies. “This is just what happens in the animal kingdom sometimes,” my distraught teacher explained to our open-mouthed, shocked faces.

To be clear – I wasn’t afraid I would eat my babies. But this harrowing memory linked up and added some emotional intensity to my very real fears about motherhood: that I would repeat painful patterns from my childhood with my own children, that I would not be naturally maternally strong enough to get through all of the transitions of parenting, that I wouldn’t be able to bond properly, that I just wouldn’t love them enough.

It took time for everything to warm up in me. I had to have help. I had to be honest with myself and with people close to me. I had to act “as if” I was naturally maternal, until I became naturally maternal. Holy crap, I love these kids. So much that it’s sometimes direct sunlight painful to look at them. I have fear to thank for that.

Ahhhh, anxiety. Our constant, faceted companion. I have learned to appreciate one thing about it. It forces awareness. We all have blind spots, which make us human, and sometimes unexpectedly surface and face-plant trip us. Anxiety has a way of pulling things out of blindness, flooding them with light, sound and imagery. In this way, it preempts and dramatically reduces the risk that you’ll actually make the mistakes you fear. The trick is to then turn down the volume on your fears so you can focus on what’s in front of you, and avoid overcorrecting. Although with love, maybe overcorrecting is kind of okay.

Here’s to Sanity and Hamsters,

Cheryl

Shooing Away Anxiety :: Tuesday Tip

October 7, 2014 By: babyproofedparentscomment

The Internet is packed with articles teaching readers how to “tame the anxiety monster” or “slay the anxiety dragon”. I personally think of anxiety as an annoying honey bee that won’t leave you alone. It buzzes in your ear, it follows you around and just when you have something really sweet going on in your life, it wants to latch on to you. Bees come in swarms and so do worries. They tend to build on each other and multiply. Very rarely do honey bees actually sting. And very rarely do the things that you are feeling anxious about actually come to fruition. But just the threat of being stung is enough to make you feel edgy and nervous.

I see a lot of anxiety issues in my counseling practice. Expectant moms (and dads!) often worry about whether the pregnancy and birth will go smoothly, and then whether they will be a good parent. Here’s what I explain: When you are expecting or caring for a baby, it is somewhat natural to notice an increase in anxiety. Think about it… you and your partner are creating, and then raising, a little person. That is a BIG responsibility and it is normal to feel a little nervous about it. In some ways the added anxiety is your brain’s way of gearing up for all of the responsibilities of being a parent. Your hormones are on high alert, your sleep is most likely disturbed, and your fight or flight response is in full effect. All possible threats and worse case scenarios seem like very real possibilities. Mama Bear is wide awake and ready to swat any bees that get too close to her cubs. The trick is to keep the anxiety in check and drown out the buzzing so that you can remain calm and focused on the many tasks ahead of you:

Here are five ways to shoo away that buzzing bee of anxiety:

1. Bring yourself back to the here and now: If you take note of what you are feeling anxious about, it is usually in connection to events that haven’t occurred yet. Your imagination is doing a number on you by creating multiple “what if” scenarios. By bringing your focus back to what is happening in the present moment, you can often quiet the nervous chatter. One way to do this is by practicing mindfulness, a simple technique that helps you slow your breathing, take in all sensory data, notice your thoughts without judgement and then bring your attention back to the present. Want more info on mindfulness? Go to this link: helpguide.org.

2. Focus on what you can control: Most of us spend a lot of time fretting over things that are out of our control. It’s exhausting, because we literally can’t do anything about these situations. Letting go of the things you are powerless over and making a list of the things you are doing well or purposefully (which is typically a heck of a lot!) can help you to feel more empowered and less vulnerable.

3. Feel prepared: Information is power. I recommend that you go to the childbirth classes, read the parenting books, and soak in all of the info. The more prepared you feel, the more equipped you will be to deal with whatever comes your way. There’s one caveat: avoid the sections of the books or websites in which they list everything that can possibly go wrong. As I mentioned in the first tip, it is better to focus on what is happening now than to worry about what could be.

4. Take note of what works for you: There are times when individuals feel generalized anxiety, that they just can’t pin on any one thing. That is when self-care activities are especially handy. Not every technique works for every person. Experiment and find out what has the most soothing effect on you. Some options are:

deep breathing
exercise (walking or yoga are favorites)
writing
warm baths
massage
talking to a friend
laughing
prayer or meditation
practicing mindfulness
listening to a guided relaxation recording (I included a favorite below.)
natural anxiety-reducing supplements (which you should always clear with your health care provider)
and in some cases, good ol’ distraction

5. Know when to seek help: Extreme anxiety is nothing to laugh at. Sometimes it can grow to the point where you are having a hard time eating, sleeping or just plain functioning. You might even be having destructive or suicidal thoughts. Any of these conditions indicate that it is time to reach out for extra help and assistance. Talk to your doctor or find a qualified therapist who can help you to sort through your anxiety and determine the best course of action. You do not have to cope on your own!

Here’s the cool thing about being a parent. More often than not, you only face a few challenges at a time. First pregnancy, then the birth, then breastfeeding, then sleep. Somewhere down the line you deal with toddler tantrums. Later on, you have a defiant teenager. You get the picture, the challenges come slowly and gradually. Unlike a beekeeper who has to maintain her zen as she walks into a swarm of bees, a parent only has to deal with a few challenges or obstacles at a time. So shoo that anxiety bee away and tell it go make some honey. You have some parenting and self-care to attend to.

Here’s to Sanity and Beekeeping,

Kirsten

As promised, here is a link to the guided relaxation CD that I listened to approximately one million times when I was pregnant, and then maybe a couple more times when I was a new parent. It is so soothing and lovely, it practically put me to sleep every time. Side 1 is for expectant mamas who want to prepare for childbirth. Side 2 is for new parents who need some relaxation. Enjoy!

The Role of A Doula :: Wednesday Wisdom

July 9, 2014 By: babyproofedparentscomment

Meet Phyllis Brasenell. Phyllis is co-owner of AustinBorn, a boutique doula collective meeting the needs of parents from pregnancy to birth to early parenting. Phyllis is a DONA-certified birth doula and DONA-trained postpartum doula, with diverse experience including multiples, single parents, surrogacy, VBAC, home birth, and still birth. She currently serves as the Vice President of the Central Texas Doula Association. Phyllis is passionate about supporting women and their families. Before becoming a doula, she worked with pregnant teens and teen moms to complete their education and gain independence. As a volunteer with the UN World Food Program in Ghana, she supported the well-being of breastfeeding women and children. I have loved interviewing women like Phyllis for our BPP Wisdom treasure chest – but there’s one downside. I repeatedly think, “I wish I had known you when I was pregnant!” We are excited to highlight her compassionate perspective as a doula, and hope it encourages pregnant moms to seriously consider enlisting this beautiful form of support.

BPP: Please describe the role a doula plays during a woman’s pregnancy and the baby’s birth.
PB: We compliment the care of a doctor, midwife, or nurse by providing non-medical care for the mother and her partner with continuous informational, physical, and emotional support before, during, and after birth. I like to think of us as a knowledgeable guide helping mothers achieve a positive birth experience, as they define it.

BPP: What drew you to becoming a doula?
PB: My background is in social work and education with girls and women (with a brief stint in the corporate world for good measure). I became a doula because I saw my friends starting their families and feeling unsure and afraid of the process. I loved the idea of helping women to feel more confident in pregnancy, birth and parenting while also bringing their partners more actively into the process.

BPP: What are some specific ways doulas advocate for laboring moms in the hospital setting?
PB: We don’t speak on behalf of mothers or their partners because we encourage them to find their own voice. We create the opportunity for mothers to advocate for themselves by making sure they’re receiving and understanding information. So for instance, in the hospital setting if an intervention is proposed I’ll remind mom to ask “BRAIN” – Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, what does my Intuition say, and what happens if we say No?

BPP:What advice do you have for fathers/parenting partners on how to best support a laboring mom?
PB: The first is to look after yourself! This seems counterintuitive but you need to care for yourself so that you can fully care for a laboring mom. Make sure you’re eating, hydrating, resting, and using the bathroom. My second piece of advice is to be present. There’s no magic trick for supporting a woman in labor because only she can birth the baby. But feeling loved and held by her partner does wonders for her emotional state and the physical production of helpful hormones. Now’s not the time to be on your smart phone or tablet. And if in labor a partner forgets everything they learned in childbirth education class, just repeat “I love you. You’re strong. You’re doing it.”

BPP:You’ve talked about how many people see doulas as a “luxury item.” How do you counter that belief?
PB: The evidence for continuous labor support is there– births with doulas have lower rates of intervention (including c-section) and higher rates of satisfaction. We’re also endorsed by ACOG as one of the most effective ways to improve labor and delivery outcomes. But we’re rarely covered by insurance which means the care of a professional doula is an out-of-pocket cost. I encourage parents to think of having a doula as an investment– all the products and stuff we buy for new baby will fall by the wayside but a mother and her partner will remember the day their child was born forever.

BPP: What parts of the birth process/caring for a newborn do you find moms are often unprepared for?
PB: No one is better prepared than a pregnant woman! She’s reading stacks of books, taking classes, and going into the hospital or birth center with multiple bags packed. But we don’t do a lot of the emotional work needed for the birth process, especially breaking through fear and anxiety. Along those same lines, not many moms are prepared for a departure from their birth plan. They’ll have a very particular idea of how they want it to go and it can be very jarring when there’s a change. I try to emphasize that it’s best to prepare ahead of time while also knowing that we can’t go into labor/birth with the chapters pre-written– birth is a story that unfolds as you go.

Caring for a newborn also throws emotional curve balls. Many moms hear one of two stories: the blissed-out new mama where everything with baby is peaceful and easy or the struggling new mama who is sleep deprived and weepy. Not many moms are prepared for the fact that there’s room for both. We don’t like conflicting emotions but it really is normal to feel totally in love with your new baby and also missing your old life. That’s okay. You can love motherhood and sometimes kind of hate it at the same time and still be an amazing parent.

BPP: What are your favorite and most challenging parts of being a doula?
PB: My favorite part is getting to know so many diverse families from different walks of life, and I’m still in complete awe at every birth I support. It’s funny because at once it’s an ordinary process (truth time: it’s a bodily function!) but also absolutely remarkable and trans-formative. I love seeing partners look at each other after their baby is born and say, “We did it!” But the challenging part of being present at such an intimate and intense time is that it can be emotionally and physically draining. We put a lot of love and energy into the families we work with and it usually takes a couple days to recuperate from a birth. The hours and unpredictability are also tough, but now I have two partner doulas and a call schedule which helps, because we know we won’t be away from our own families for more than 24 hours at a time.

BPP: What are some misperceptions about doulas you’d like to correct?
PB: There are three biggies:

That we’ll be at odds with your doctor/midwife/nurse or try to persuade you in medical decision making. Really, we consider ourselves a member of your “birth team”, and it’s in everyone’s best interest if we communicate/work well with your other providers. And sure, we’ll be a sounding board as you process information, but we trust you to make your own choices.
That we will push an agenda. Do we believe birth is a normal and safe process? Absolutely. Do we think breastfeeding is great for mom and baby? You betcha. But above all else we are pro-mother and we respect how she chooses to give birth and parent.
That we’ll replace the partner, but our goal is actually the opposite! Prenatally, we talk a lot about the role the partner would like to have at the labor/birth and how we can facilitate that. It looks different for everyone, but it often means reminding the partner of labor comfort measures, reassuring them that everyone is doing well, or “spelling” them so they can grab a sandwich or shower without leaving mom to labor alone.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
PB: In the first couple months postpartum, meal calendars are a must and I swear by a chore list for visiting guests (I find that friends and family really want to help but aren’t always sure how).
Also, put down the books! Okay, okay, don’t put down all the books, but what I mean is this: do educate yourself so you have a good baseline of information going into parenting. But also know that no one and no book will know your new baby like you do. Learn your baby.

Thank you Phyllis, for sharing your wisdom! You and your team are an amazing resource for expectant parents everywhere.

C & K ♥

Featured Photo Copyright: macsim / 123RF Stock Photo

On Prenatal Pregnancy Massage :: Wednesday Wisdom

May 28, 2014 By: babyproofedparents3 Comments

Luna Wood

Meet Luna Wood. Luna is a Nationally Licensed Massage Therapist and Birth Journey Facilitator with over 20 years of experience. She trained through DONA (Doulas of North America) and ALACE (Association of Labor Assistants & Childbirth Educators), and is currently a Certified Massage Doula graduating from the advanced six month Massage Doula program at the Star Institute. She has taught various programs at the Star Institute & Austin School of Massage and has 13 years of experience as an instructor specializing in pregnancy and childbirth. She currently has a thriving practice at South Congress Massage. If I’d known Luna during my pregnancies, you couldn’t have pried me off her massage table. She is a gifted, genuine, vibrant woman, and we are honored to feature her wisdom!

BPP: You were a doula for years, and then transitioned to massage therapy. What drew you to changing your career direction?

LW: I LOVE attending births and I still attend 1-2 a year, however, it has become a challenge to be on call around the clock. My son is 13, and he is involved in many extra-curricular activities. I also love to travel, and when you attend births you are unable to do so. As a busy parent, I find massage easier to schedule, and my day is over earlier, so I can have quality family time. I also find massage to be relaxing for me as a practitioner. Every session is a meditation for me. I get to focus on that person and be completely in the moment. When I’m on vacation I miss the ritual of my massage practice. It’s a wonderful way to pace my day and really connect with people in a healing space.

BPP: Describe what a pregnant mom would experience in a prenatal massage.

LW: Prenatal massage is so relaxing for mama and baby. I treat it as two people who want to be in harmony together. Massaging pregnant women is my favorite because moms are so open to education and feedback, and sometimes just need a listening ear. I feel privileged to work with pregnant women. Prenatal massage is so important for the mother’s circulatory system, adrenals, hormones and joints, but equally as important for emotional and spiritual connection. It’s my goal to help the pregnant mama and baby leave my studio feeling fully nurtured and supported mentally, physically and spiritually.

BPP: What do you focus on when providing massage to a brand new mom?

LW: Many times new moms need education and information. Most of the time, I find they need an open ear to LISTEN. First time mothers are saturated with information from the internet. Information overload is not helpful. Many times we just need to process the journey of pregnancy and parenting. I ask my clients to read books with interesting pregnancy stories or ask them to do artwork, or go hang out in nature. The brain needs a break so we can be fully present with our growing babies.

BPP: As a parent, how have you personally worked to obtain good work and personal life balance?

LW: I receive massages or another form of bodywork at least once a week. When I was pregnant with my son 13 years ago I was attending births and practicing massage. I was forced to slow down when my blood pressure rose from doing too much. I learned a valuable lesson about self care. Being pregnant made me more aware of the foods I was eating, and helped me make sure I rested well. I also practiced prenatal yoga and swam at Deep Eddy Pool everyday. When my son was born, I made an agreement with myself that I would not go longer than a month without receiving massage or other types of bodywork, and I’ve stuck to it. Massage is not a form of pampering. It is preventative care.

BPP: What benefits could dads/parenting partners get from massage?

LW: I always remind dads and partners that they are pregnant too! Just because they are not physically carrying the baby, they ARE carrying the baby energetically and emotionally. Fathers/partners feel lots of financial and emotional pressures when their partner is expecting. They nest and prepare just like their partner. It is important that they receive self care as well. They don’t want to work and burn out before the baby even gets here. They need to show up to childbirth and baby care classes, not to mention the birth, with a full tank. Partners need to model self care, because they will be going through sleep deprivation, fastening car seats and changing diapers soon enough. Self care should be a good habit that gets started from the beginning of the pregnancy, because once the first child is born, time is such a luxury! If you make your appointments for massage, take your hot baths, or go for a run regularly it will be easier to keep your good habits once the baby is here.

BPP: What is your favorite part of working with expectant moms?

LW: I love that moms do their homework. What does this mean? If you ask them to do a breath work technique, drink lots of water, practice some pelvic rocks, sit on the exercise ball, work with visualization, and get massage and bodywork, they actually do it! They are wonderful clients because they are not only looking out for their best interest but alsol the interest of the baby. I also love working with babies. It’s like doing infant massage before they are even born. I turn the mom on her left side, then her right, and by the time I get to the belly the baby is usually all nestled in and relaxed. Sometimes if I’m lucky, I will feel a little kick or nudge of enjoyment. This gives me great joy to share such a beautiful experience with this new soul. I’m not thinking about my grocery list or what I did yesterday. I’m RIGHT THERE IN THAT MOMENT! There is nothing else quite like that moment with that little one and her mama.

BPP: In your experience, what mental/emotional blocks do expectant moms have to self-care (such as regular massage therapy), and what is your response to those blocks?

LW: What I find most about moms is that they feel guilty for taking time or money for self care (massage, acupuncture, yoga class, nutritional support). I often hear that massage is a luxury, and I often reply, ” No, it’s preventative medicine and it would be wonderful if our health care paid for it!” In our culture it’s ok to spend money on a new haircut, highlights or a pedicure, but not on our body and health.

Time also becomes a luxury in a growing family. We can not be sane parents without some time for ourselves. It is imperative that we create this in our lives. Even as a single parent, I made time to have self care while my son’s godmother was at my home or when he was in preschool. As moms we have to put ourselves first because no one else is going to.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?

LW: Take naps, get massages, do yoga (even if it’s only 5 min on the floor) and take some time to meditate. I have made a point to take at least five minutes of meditation before I get out of bed in the morning and jump into my day. Good habits will take you a long way and keep you sane.

Thank you, Luna, for your hands-on support and nurturing for babies and moms. We appreciate your loving work, and your firm stance on massage being a preventative health benefit, not a luxury. That’s how we feel about all forms of self-care!

C & K ♥

Labor & Delivery Nurse :: Wednesday Wisdom

February 11, 2014 By: babyproofedparents2 Comments

Emmy, her fiancé, Ross, and Charlotte.

One of the goals of this blog is to share the experiences and wisdom of the amazing peeps who help deliver babies into the world. We will be featuring interviews with midwives, ObGyn’s, and doulas, presenting a wide range of opinions and perspectives. For this Wednesday’s Wisdom, we are talking with Labor and Delivery Nurse, Emmy Voosen, RN. Emmy graduated from UT Austin’s nursing school in 2011. She has worked as an L&D nurse for the last two years and genuinely adores her job. Emmy says that, “Bringing new life into the world is overwhelmingly rewarding and exciting!”

BPP: Emmy, you seem to have chosen the right career path – it is evident how much you love what you do. How did you decide to become a labor and delivery nurse?
EV: It was very easy, actually. My mother was a labor and delivery nurse and I can remember thinking, ‘Man, coolest job ever!’ as a child. I followed my childhood dream, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that this is where I am supposed to be.

BPP: Approximately how many births have you assisted with?
EV: Oh, goodness. Too many to count!

BPP: What has surprised you the most about being an L&D nurse?
EV: The stress level. Although deliveries usually bring smiles and happy times, some nights are so busy (darn those full moons!) that there is little to no time to use the restroom, drink water, or even sit down during the 12 hour shift. It is a good thing I love what I do!

BPP: Any suggestions on how parents-to-be can prepare for labor, delivery and/or postpartum recovery?
EV: Attend prenatal classes. In my experience, mothers and fathers who do so are less anxious and have a better idea of what to expect. Look around your area! Here in New Braunfels at Christus Santa Rosa Hospital, multiple classes are offered—including breastfeeding, childbirth preparation, big brother/big sister, and how to take care of mom/baby once you’re home. There are tons of resources out there to help expectant and new moms and their families.

BPP: In your opinion, advantages and disadvantages of having a hospital birth?
EV: After seeing some of the things that can go wrong during childbirth, I could not, in good conscience, recommend that anyone give birth outside of a hospital (just my opinion). Although hospitals can feel sterile and cold, there is a comfort in knowing that you are surrounded by professionals equipped to handle emergencies for mother and baby, and that you are close to an OR if a cesarean section becomes necessary. Some of the benefits of delivering at home or in a birthing center, not within a hospital, would be the comfort and familiarity of the environment and freedom to move and change positions without being on continuous fetal monitoring. However, it all comes down to making informed decisions and personal preferences.

BPP: Do you have a favorite birth story?
EV: Being my cousin’s nurse for the birth of her first daughter (she has 3 boys!) will always have a special place in my heart. It was an honor to be her nurse and witness another miracle of life.

BPP: How can birth partners be helpful to the woman who is delivering?
EV: Take prenatal classes together. Discuss the mother’s plan and wishes for labor so the partner is on the same page and knows how to support her best. Simply be present (examples: hold her hand, rub her back.) Every woman is different, but having a partner there to listen to your needs/requests/complaints and provide unconditional support is extremely helpful during the challenging, yet rewarding, process of labor and delivery.

BPP: How do you interact with doulas and midwives who are in the delivery room with the expecting parents?
EV: We work as a team. It is their job as well as mine to advocate for the patient. We collaborate to provide the best care for the expectant mother and her family.

BPP: You have not become a parent yet. Has being an L&D nurse impacted your views and plans for starting a family?
EV: Definitely! Being an L&D nurse has really opened my eyes. I have seen the love and joy that is brought on with the birth of a new baby, but I have also encountered just how much work this new bundle of joy can be. Having a baby is life changing and I have come to realize that there will be a time for me, but just not right now. ; )

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
EV: This is more for mothers-to-be, but I would recommend becoming educated on the process, while keeping an open mind when it comes to your labor and childbirth experience. Often times, people have rigid and specific birth plans. This can lead to more anxiety and, occasionally, feelings of failure if things don’t go exactly as planned. Also, use the nurses, ask questions, and let us know how we can make you most comfortable during the labor process. We are there to support you during this exciting, yet nerve-racking experience!

Emmy’s Sanity Savers:

Take prenatal classes with your birth partner so that you both feel informed and prepared for childbirth and postpartum recovery. (We personally recommend a baby proofed parents workshop. Just sayin’.)
Keep an open mind about the labor and delivery process. Be informed, think positively and then go with the flow.
Communicate openly and freely with your nurse (or midwife or doula). If they’re anything like Emmy, they feel honored to be part of your birth experience and they want to support you in any way they can!

Thanks Emmy – great pointers for any expecting couple, whether they are planning a hospital or home birth! – C & K ♥

Are You Strong Enough? :: Sunday Sanity

February 1, 2014 By: babyproofedparents1 Comment

Yes. Yes. Yes.

My first pregnancy was blissful, until I developed a weird rash on the right side of my belly a week before my due date. At first I thought it was a spider bite, and went straight to a local walk-in clinic. The doc took one look and said, “Staph.” He prescribed one of the few antibiotics safe for pregnancy, and gave me a very stern talking to about the risks of my baby being exposed to the infection. I left my bliss in his office. All of my confidence drained out, replaced by fear. Visions of cuddling skin-to-skin with my sweet new born morphed into visions of protecting her from certain infection, switching soft blankets for a body condom… my anxiety went through the roof.

After a few days, the antibiotics didn’t diminish the rash, and I made an appointment with my dermatologist. I love her. She is smart, quirky and wears wicked-cool glasses. I lifted my shirt and dumped out my fears, which, as it turns out, had very little to do with the rash. My fears were about the gravity of what was about to happen to my body, to my marriage, to my identity, to my life. Who was I kidding? I couldn’t do this. She smiled at me, and looking me right in the eyes, said, “You are so strong. You’re going to be just fine.”

Sweet relief. I walked out of there with a diagnosis of contact dermatitis, a sample of cream that cleared it up completely, and a renewed sense of strength that can only come from the words of another strong woman who has been there. Her voice made all the difference.

I was unburdened. A few nights later, I gave birth to my daughter. Looking back, I am amazed at how penetrating these two experiences were. I saw myself as a force, and my standard motto for most things, including birth, was “bring it ON.” It startled me when the first doctor’s fear-based approach obliterated my confidence, and days later the simple words of encouragement from my dermatologist restored it completely. To be a parent, you have to be a bit insane, and a bit stable. And since you’re in a constant state of change and flux, you’re naturally more susceptible to the feedback around you. The messages you expose yourself to during your preparation for the arrival of a baby can make a huge difference in your ability to access your strength.

When I recall the moments in my life when I felt the strongest and most resourceful, it was at the births of my two children. Other things that feel challenging wither when I compare them to that power. That you are even contemplating taking on responsibility for a life means that you are innately strong and capable. Remember that no matter what your birth story winds up being or was, you made a person, you brought or are about to bring a person out into the world, or you’ve chosen to adopt a baby and add a sweet life to your family. Nothing can diminish this, absolutely nothing. You are strong. You can do this. And if you already did this, DAMN. You did this.

BPP Sanity Savers:

Be mindful of the way you talk to yourself while preparing for your baby. Be gentle and encouraging.
Surround yourself with positive friends and family members who bring out the best in you.
Remember that your strength transcends the arrival of your baby – it is always with you.

Here’s to Strength and Sanity,

Cheryl

Pre & Postnatal Yoga Guru :: Wednesday Wisdom

January 28, 2014 By: babyproofedparents2 Comments

For our inaugural Wednesday Wisdom, we had the pleasure of interviewing Hannah Williams. Hannah describes herself as a “Yoga teachin’, Guitar Slingin’ Mamasita of two very sparkly little girls.” She has a passion for creating space, community (and a good workout!) to mamas in their baby-making years. She has been a student of yoga for twenty years and a teacher for seven with a specialty in pre and postnatal yoga. Being a musician as well, Hannah is known for her musical playlists and an occasional serenade on guitar during savasana. She has also trained with Birthing From Within and loves to support mothers unconditionally no matter what their birthing or mothering preferences are and encourages the love and non-judgment for all mamas out there!

Short on time? Skip to the Three Sanity Savers.

BPP: When and how did you become a yoga instructor?
HW: In 2005 after I moved to Austin, my practice became a lot more regular than it had been in the past. I fell in love with some amazing teachers and went religiously to their classes. This is awful, but one day the yoga studio got broken into and my teacher’s purse was stolen. That moment was so upsetting. I remember just standing there shocked and said in tears “How could anyone do that to people that devote their lives to making the lives of others better?” That’s when it hit me. I wanted to dive into my yoga studies and devote MY life to uplifting and empowering others. I got in that moment how special that was.

BPP: Has yoga impacted your own life as a parent?
HW: We all have our crazy days…..But I have much fewer of them because of my yoga practice! I think the biggest thing has been self care, whatever that means for you. Journal writing can be as powerful and impactful as meditation for me. But these days since having my second child, I focus on gratitude whenever I possibly can, when I roll out of bed, brush my teeth, whenever! I also get into my yoga room and do some kind of practice. Even if it’s five minutes. Five minutes of meditation and intention setting completely shifts the course of my day for the better. Most importantly practicing Ahimsa (loving kindness towards myself and all beings.) When my five year old is having a meltdown I can pull out all my hair and join her or I can give her love and compassion. The latter always wins.

BPP: What are the benefits of yoga for expecting or new parents?
HW: The practice of being present. When we meditate or follow our breath in a yoga class we are training our brains to become still. We are absorbed in the moment and filling it with awareness and intention. Releasing expectation is also HUGE. We put so much pressure on ourselves and our partners and it can cause a great deal of inner turmoil and conflict. We can have more positive outcomes when we focus on what’s working instead and on what we appreciate in ourselves and others. And of course yoga helps to relieve all those aches and pains we get during pregnancy and postpartum! While pregnant, it’s so important to stay strong as well as open up space in our bodies by stretching and lubrication our joints. Our center of gravity completely shifts, and that causes a lot of strain and pain in our back and pelvis. We can make it a whole lot more comfortable with yoga poses and body awareness. After the baby comes, we spend so much time sitting and nursing or feeding that our our shoulders roll forward and need to be opened as well as our quads and hip flexors. It also comes back to self care. We’ve got to fill our cup or we have nothing to give. The community building and connecting with other expecting or new parents is also something that’s really special. It’s one of my favorite things about teaching. I love watching those friendships build.

BPP: Favorite pose for an expecting mom?
HW: Wow, there are so many I love. But I think if I had to pick just one favorite it would have to be Viparita Karani (legs up the wall.) I call it “The Mother of all prenatal poses.” You elevate your hips on a bolster or folded blankets so that there is still proper blood flow to your heart and it feels so amazing. It releases the anti-stress hormone, serotonin so it’s very helpful in reducing anxiety and helping you sleep better which is oh-so-common during pregnancy. It is also great for relieving low back and hip pain, varicose and spider veins, edema (swelling of the feet and ankles), hemorrhoids, really, you name it and this pose is a cure all! Of course there are always exceptions and contraindications though like high blood pressure, so it’s important to chat with your care provider and teacher before practicing this at home.

BPP: Do you encourage new parents to bring their infants to yoga class?
HW: Absolutely. As long as it’s a postnatal class. Usually when they’re really little we can’t break away from them and so it’s better to bring them! We also do baby yoga, we sing songs to them with movement, we practice poses with them and expose them to yoga! We get to nurse them or feed them, change them, whatever they need and we’re still absorbing YOGA and connecting with other new Moms and babies.

BPP: Would you recommend prenatal yoga to a mom who has never practiced yoga before?
HW: Yes. Many Moms start out with prenatal yoga. Most classes, unless specified are geared towards all levels. Beginners are a huge majority in prenatal yoga. I feel like I offer more modifications to advanced students! Although by the third trimester even the most advanced students are slowing way down!

BPP: Have you ever been brought to tears by a yoga student or class?
HW: Oh yes, many times. Once when a mom was sharing about her worries of how her older child would feel when the baby is born. She started crying and the next thing you knew there weren’t many dry eyes. I think we could all relate or imagine what that must feel like. And there has been loss. That’s always really hard. I had the most amazing student several years ago who shared the loss of her baby a year prior and was there every week in her second pregnancy with so much love and attention to her every move, every breath. She was the strongest most beautiful woman. I told her that one day after class and then cried my eyes out as soon as she walked away. I wasn’t as good at holding back the tears when I was pregnant with my students.

BPP: You’re also a musician. How has music played a role in your yoga practice and your life as a parent?
HW: Yes! I love to talk about the link between yoga and music. Music has played a role in my practice by my carefully thought out playlists, as well as songs I’ll sometimes sing in savasana that are appropriate to the theme or time in life. But it’s yoga that has impacted my music even more. I am such a better musician, artist and performer since diving into yoga in teacher training. I have an entire workshop dedicated to that! (Yoga for Musicians) And back to why I became a teacher in the first place, it’s the same with music. Most of my songs have a positive message or a silver lining. My intention is to inspire, uplift and empower people through music and yoga. At home music is on a lot of the time. We have many dance parties (in the womb and out!) And my five year old has been singing since she could talk basically. She actually kicked me off stage at my own show and made up a beautiful song on the spot. She did it again when we were recording my record and we put it on the album and she tore the house down at my record release show! My littlest is obsessed with the guitar. Every time I play she crawls over, eyes and mouth open wide and starts strumming. My husband is also a guitar player and singer who’s playing all the time and we have a music studio that they love to hang out in. I’ve been finally getting back to writing a lot since having my second kiddo and I play and sing every day. It’s just a part of life at home! The most rewarding thing has been to hear my daughter sing my songs. Especially the really positive ones. That’s what it’s all about!

BPP: Final question – If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
HW: Do something nice for yourself every day, no matter what it is, just take care of yourself. Love your partner, appreciate all they do and be grateful as much as you can for all the wonderful things in your life. Try to keep positivity the running theme in your life and listen to inspirational books on tape or documentaries while you do your regular household duties throughout the day. Laugh a lot and have date nights! Oh wait, you said one tip! Here it is. Be grateful and positive and everything else will fall into place!

Hannah’s Sanity Savers:

With or without experience, pregnant and new moms can benefit from yoga.
Yoga helps parents to slow down, breathe and be present in the midst of the chaos.
Putting aside time every day for self-care and gratitude (even if it is only for a few minutes) will help you to remain more positive and be a more happy, stable parent.