self care | baby proofed parents

Anger Is A Gift :: Monday Musing

April 28, 2014 By: babyproofedparents2 Comments

Are you mad?

My beautiful friend, Jean, is an incredibly grounded acupuncturist. She believes that most women are not given a template for dealing with anger, if they’re able to consciously acknowledge they’re experiencing it in the first place. Our training, at times by our parents, and constantly by society is to be nurturing and supportive, avoiding the “b word” label at all costs. There’s no room in that scenario for being pissed off. I believe men are subject to this emotional sanction in a slightly different way. They’re not allowed to show weakness, which means there’s no space to cry or say, “I have no clue.” All of that hidden powerlessness has to manifest somehow, and can start an internal storm of anger so intense it becomes easier to numb out or disengage than to deal with it. I took in Jean’s words and asked her, “How do you process your own anger?” With a wry smile she replied, “Me? Ohhh, I don’t get angry!”

Kids are supposed to be out of control sometimes. Even when they master language and can have high-level conversations with you, it takes many until their 20’s to fully grasp how to moderate their emotions. (I’m still working on it at almost 40.) If you feel out of control and don’t know how to deal with it, and you’re in the presence of a child who is out of control (or is just being a kid), it can feel irresistible to come down way too hard on them, trying to control them instead of yourself. Have you ever seen an adult schooling a child in a public place, looking like a complete a-hole while the child just looks very small? This happens all the time, even to conscious, well-meaning parents.

The only person in my family of origin allowed to express intense feelings was my dad. The feeling he expressed most often was anger. He would repress for a while, and then blow a gasket about something trivial my siblings and I did or didn’t do, often when we least expected it. My therapist described this as “venting through your children.” She explained that my dad, like many adults, had a hard time understanding or dealing with his feelings, and things got built up inside. Eventually, a volcano erupted.

As a child, it never occurred to me to feel much of anything, let alone express it, because I was too busy avoiding wrath by being a perfect little girl and hiding. Eventually, the whole “not having feelings” thing stopped working, and I had to start coping with the build-up I’d spent my life running from. When I had babies, a whole new level of this work began.

When my daughter was two and my son was a few months old, they used to have what I referred to as “crying competitions.” It felt like they were trying to outdo each other. One would start to calm down a little, and the other would let out another wail, and then the first would start all over again – neither would let the other have the last word. I am laughing as I write this, but at the time, I was in hell. I would put one on each hip, and bounce through the house singing to them, trying to make them laugh, and finally, exhausted, I’d just sit on the floor and hold them while waiting it out. After a few rounds, I started noticing anger, very hot, rising up in me.

How soothing, right? Mom is holding us, but her jaw is clenched, her arms stiff. I knew they were just being normal, crying babies, but no amount of rational thinking could compete with the anger that was coming from my perceived inability to control the situation. I felt myself wanting to scream at them, but something made me put them down, my son in his bouncy seat, my daughter next to him on the rug. I walked out into the garage and shut the door behind me. I could still hear them crying, but I sensed they’d be safe for a few minutes. My eyes fell on the pile of stuff we were donating to charity. I don’t remember which toy I picked up, but I know it was pink, and when I threw it as hard as possible onto the garage floor, it shattered in the most satisfying way imaginable. Just to ensure its total destruction, I picked it up and threw it down again. Hard. Then, I took a deep breath, exhaled, and walked back into the house. I felt like a different person. Calm. I soothed them and got through the rest of day.

That wasn’t perfect, by any means. Before I walked out, I didn’t reassure them that I’d be back, and it wasn’t their fault. They probably heard the scary crashes. Breaking toys in my garage made me feel like a psychopath. Plus, what about the poor kid who would now be deprived of the joy of playing with whatever that pink thing was? Wasteful. But, I’d rather them feel a little scared or uncertain, hear a noise, and then have me come inside and soothe them from an authentically calm place. I’d rather explain that I was angry, and needed a moment alone to deal with it. I don’t want to scream at them, or hit them, or handle them roughly, or shame them. I really, really don’t want to vent out my emotional crap through my kids.

Another big rupture happened shortly after J and I went through our divorce. Turns out grief manifests in me as it does in many men: anger, anger, anger. I could feel a wave of it coming up, and was desperate to get my kids settled in front of the TV in our upstairs loft so I could take a break. They could feel the tension emanating from me, and reacted by whining and protesting. Shocking. Finally, I lost it and yelled, “Please just watch your show!!” Of course, that soothed them right away, and then, I held that powerful, “I’m an adult in complete control” stance as I lost my footing and slid down our wooden staircase on my ass. My finest parenting moment to date.

I wish I was telling you all of this while sitting under a tree in a lotus posture, totally zen, referring to these past, totally resolved issues. Nope. I still struggle with moderating my emotions. The good news is that I’ve learned a few ways to deal, minimizing the risk of negative impact on people around me. One is intense music. Most people feel anger reducing when listening to calm, soothing music, but sometimes the opposite is true for me. I make sure the kids are settled, pop in ear buds and turn it a little too loud. The sounds are slightly angrier than I feel. They envelope and hold me. A go-to track is “Burning Inside” by Ministry, in which a sound the domestic goddess in me has decided is a vacuum cleaner melts into insanely fast drumming and impending doom guitar. If I’m especially keyed up, I actually run the vacuum while listening. This serves to further calm me, and assuage some of the inherent guilt that accompanies anger, because hey, look at those floors! Planting my face into a pillow and screaming at the top of my lungs is amazing, and often makes me laugh at the melodrama of it. And of course, I know the donation pile is right there in the garage if I need it.

Brilliant psychotherapist Irvin Yalom writes about a female client who came to a session very distraught. She tearfully explained that the night before, she had gotten drunk, had a huge fight with her husband, and ended up throwing a lemon pie against the wall. The visual: lemon custard oozing down the wall, broken pie plate and crust all over the floor. Yalom said his instinct was to try and alleviate what he perceived was her guilt, reassuring her that it probably wasn’t so bad, to not be hard on herself, etc. Turns out, he had read her wrong. Her tears were grief over lost time. For the first time, she had finally expressed her true feelings, in an impossible to take back way. I repeat this story over and over, because it captures the essence of our right to messy emotions dead on.

One of my clients made my year when she emailed me this photo, and gave me permission to share. The title: “Look What I Did!”

Shaving cream pies. Brilliant, cathartic and safe, because you won’t be tempted to lick lemon off your fence, eliminating splinter risk.

These little people look to you for containment, and you recognize that at times you can’t contain yourself. And you step into another room, and throw a pie. Then you come back to them, and you continue trying. You own your humanity with them, and you are humble about your limitations. You soothe, repair, and clean the wall. You try hard to stop whatever cycles could continue through you and into them. And, perhaps most importantly, you show them how adults forgive themselves.

Disclaimer: I am in no way advocating senseless harm to innocent lemon pies, especially if they are gluten-free and topped with meringue. Limits, people.

Here’s To Sanity and Yalom,

Cheryl

On Postpartum Depression and Anxiety :: Wednesday Wisdom

April 1, 2014 By: babyproofedparentscomment

Postpartum depression and anxiety are issues that affect many women, and yet our society does not discuss or address these topics nearly enough. That is why we are featuring the expertise of Dr. Kelly Boyd for this week’s Wednesday Wisdom. Dr. Boyd is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in Round Rock, Texas, specializing in reproductive related issues including endometriosis, fertility/assisted reproduction, high-risk pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum anxiety/depression, NICU issues, medical termination, and perinatal grief and loss. She is on the advisory board of the Pregnancy and Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas, the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals and is an active member of Postpartum Support International.

Dr. Boyd facilitates a free weekly postpartum support group at Any Baby Can, and also does a bi-monthly pregnancy and infant loss group at St. David’s Hospital. She’s the mother of two teens and is very active within the parenting support community. We are so honored to feature her experience and insight on postpartum issues, which impact so many parents, yet are surrounded by much unnecessary stigma, rendering them difficult to openly discuss. And they need to be openly discussed.

BPP: How do you define “Reproductive Psychology”, and what drew you to focusing your practice on these issues?

DKB: Reproductive psychology is defined as the practice of emotional support and counseling given to individuals, families and groups dealing with various types of reproductive issues that don’t go as planned in any part of the reproductive process.

Many people assume the reproductive process will just happen, but often it does not, and we are faced with statements and experiences that can result in feeling “it wasn’t supposed to be like this”. Often these struggles can be traumatic and can affect a person/relationship physically, emotionally, relationally, financially and spiritually. Supportive reproductive counseling can help the person become more aware, gain insight and feel less alone in a process that often feels scary or out of control.

I became interested in reproductive psychology after personally experiencing many of these issues myself. I also began to notice something unique about the assessment and treatment of reproductive related depression, anxiety and grief. While there was tremendous medical care for families, little was being done to emotionally support families through reproductive challenges. So, I became passionate about serving and educating the community and health professionals about the psychology of the reproductive process.

BPP: What are a few major differences between postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety?

DKB: One of my passions is educating about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. People often only refer to “postpartum depression”, but it’s often not only depressive symptoms. Many women experience both depression and anxiety, and sometimes more of one than the other. Postpartum panic, postpartum OCD and postpartum PTSD also fall under the umbrella of postpartum anxiety disorders. Here are some of the main differences:

Postpartum Depression includes:

Sadness, irritability, excessive guilt, changes in eating and sleeping, difficulty concentrating, hopelessness, decreased interest in self, baby or things that were once enjoyable.

Postpartum Anxiety includes:

Excessive worry or fear about the baby, health issues, fear that something terrible may happen, panic attacks, difficulty breathing, fear of losing control. Postpartum OCD (a sub-symptom of anxiety) often includes repetitive, obsessive scary thoughts about harm to the self, baby or family. Postpartum PTSD often happens with a traumatic birth experience and can include many of the above symptoms with the inclusion of nightmares, flashbacks and a re-experiencing of the trauma.

BPP: We imagine that when you meet new clients with postpartum issues, you sometimes wish they’d contacted you sooner. What are some early signs that a woman should reach out for help?

DKB: Often women don’t reach out for help because they are not sure what’s happening, or because of shame and guilt about how they are feeling at a time our society often says is the happiest time in a woman’s life.

Warning signs indicating a need for help:

Increased isolation and loneliness
Prior mental health history in self or family that has worsened during pregnancy or postpartum
Lack of support or relationships with the baby, partners and friends are becoming affected
Sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, difficulty with breast feeding may also cause changes in mood that may signal the need for help.
Fear of losing control and a sense of being overwhelmed by everything

BPP: When you meet a woman struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, what resources do you try to mobilize for her?

DKB: Individual and couples counseling, postpartum support groups, online support and blogs, increased social support systems, additional support for increasing sleep, nutritional needs, breaks for self care, exercise, massage, acupuncture, meditation/yoga, supplements and/or medication assessment.

BPP: What advice do you have for parenting partners, friends and family members of women struggling with these issues?

Be supportive and listen to her fears, feelings and concerns. Validate that most of this is a time limited hormonal and life style adjustment that will improve.
Remind them that they are not alone. This is not forever and not a reflection of the type of parent they are. It is time limited, and with help, increased support and awareness about postpartum issues, they will get well.
Educate everyone about what postpartum IS, and what it is NOT. There are many myths. Get the facts. Great resources for families are Postpartum Support International and Postpartum Progress.
Hire and/or give additional help with household chores, night time baby wakings, sleep and self care time.

BPP: Why do you think postpartum issues are so difficult for women to talk about?

DKB: Because of the shame and stigma of maternal emotions being anything other than joyous. There are so many motherhood myths and pressures on new parents, and often we are taught to not talk about difficult or painful emotions regarding our children or adjustment to our new role. Many women also fear that they will be judged as not being a “good mom” if they express how they truly feel at times. Additionally, many express a fear of being viewed as weak or a failure if they don’t get it “just right”. Lastly, our media has mainly profiled extreme cases of postpartum psychosis, and many women fear they will become like that, or associated with the idea that they may harm themselves or their children if they talk about postpartum issues. This is simply not true. Postpartum psychosis is rare. Postpartum anxiety and depression are very common, treatable and are nothing to be ashamed about.

BPP: What would you say to a woman who feels intense shame about her postpartum issues?

DKB: What’s most important is that women realize this is a treatable, time limited experience. With help, increased education, awareness and support, they will get well. It’s not a reflection of them or their parenting. It’s something we get through and are often better for it after we heal and get the well deserved support.

BPP: What are things expectant parents can do before baby’s arrival to prepare for the possibility of postpartum issues?

DKB: Women and families should consider getting support and educated in their pregnancy. Identify potential risk factors, and develop a postpartum intervention/prevention plan. Assess needs for all family members and get resources lined up before the baby arrives. A good prevention plan, open discussion about feelings, fears, expectations regarding sleep, feedings, household chores and transitions often significantly decreases postpartum distress for everyone.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?

DKB: “Please place your own oxygen mask on, before assisting others.”
Many new parents are forgetting how important it is to care for self because they solely focus on the baby or others, often resulting in depletion and exhaustion. Take time for self, which in turn will be a benefit for everyone!

Thank you, Dr. Boyd, for your insight into these incredibly important issues, that we hope will be talked about more and more openly.

Here’s To More Sanity and Less Shame,

C & K ♥

Pimp My Self-Care :: Tuesday Tip

March 24, 2014 By: babyproofedparentscomment

As both an expectant and new parent, you get a LOT of advice. Some of it you solicit, and some of it you really, really don’t. The advice that helped me stomach all the advice? “Try to take each suggestion as the person’s attempt at a gift; it won’t always fit or be the right color, but the intention behind it is usually kindness.”

That perspective worked well for me 95% of the time, but it definitely did NOT work for this jewel: “Sleep while your baby is sleeping.” When my baby girl slept soundlessly all day every day, deciding that night time was the right time for partying, crying, eating, and everything that involved being wide awake, I got this advice on repeat. I know it was well-intentioned. I looked like a haggard zombie. Plus, as someone who approaches life with both myself and my clients holistically, I get that if something is off physically, it’s impossible to fully function mentally, emotionally or spiritually. That said, this became my internal response when yet another well-meaning person suggested rest: “(in Samuel L Jackson’s “Pulp Fiction” voice) Tell me to SLEEP, mother-f’er! Tell me to SLEEP ONE MORE mother-f’in time!!”

When I tried to sleep while she was sleeping, I was stiff and motionless on the bed, eyes wide open, riddled with anxiety, feeling completely alienated from life outside our little house. Sunlight flooded the room, and me, with desperation to connect to my former self. I turned to Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to try and get a grip on our situation, and was floored when I came across this quote: “When the baby is asleep, get some sleep yourself, unless you are doing something for your own peace of mind.” Okay. The sleep book tells me it’s okay to do something besides sleep if it makes me happy. Or at least this is how my exhausted brain chose to interpret it.

I stopped wrestling myself. I decided that for me, being sleepy, but otherwise grounded, was better for all of us. While she snoozed, I took long, hot baths. I vented to friends, combing them for advice on how to fix our issues. I got out of the house alone, wandered through Target and resisted the impulse to violently embrace complete strangers, yelling, “Hiiii! Isn’t it sooo great to be alive together, looking at these pretty things together, breathing in this air together?!” I made curry. The curry part, especially, wouldn’t be a universally validated self-care suggestion, but it grounded me, and it tasted damn good. For those first few months, I was very tired, but very alive, and able to more fully enjoy my sweet, party-lovin’ girl.

Accept parenting and self-care advice. It’s based on a rich history of parents and professionals who have walked through the fire, and you need it. Hear me when I say that putting yourself in physical peril is not okay. Milan Kundera said it well: “When we ignore the body, we are more easily victimized by it.” But don’t forget that inside you, there’s this gorgeous, strong brain that gives you so much imperative information. Listen to it, responding to and incorporating what you hear. Your sanity is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family, even if your personal path to it isn’t fully backed by conventional wisdom.

BPP Sanity Savers:

Try to remain graciously open to well-intended advice from others, including those who aren’t parents (they are often more grounded in life beyond the baby bubble). Caring for your physical needs is the pre-requisite for all other needs, and get help addressing any barriers to these needs…
…but, don’t forget to also listen to yourself, trusting your ability to discern the path to your emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. Factor your voice in.
It’s very possible to be fried to the point of an inability to hear your own voice or know WHAT you want or need. If you find yourself there, it’s time to get support. Call a trusted friend and/or a good therapist, be truthful about how overwhelmed you feel, and ask for help.

Here’s to Sanity and Curry,

Cheryl

Feed Your Baby, Feed Your Senses :: Tuesday Tip

February 17, 2014 By: babyproofedparents1 Comment

This story might be familiar to some of you, and a cautionary tale to others. My daughter had colic. For several weeks, between the hours of 4 pm and 1 am, she was either crying uncontrollably, breast feeding, or stunned into brief silence by the sound of the vacuum cleaner (we had super clean floors during this time).

One evening, J (my kids’ awesome dad) and I were invited to a happy hour. We decided he should go, as I tended to have an easier time soothing her as the parent with the milk supply, and she would definitely not have been a “happy” addition to the hour if we tried to take her along. When he walked back into the house, he smelled like outside and red wine. I stood close to him and inhaled deeply several times in a row, like an addict huffing paint fumes from a paper sack. I was floored at how amazing a scent other than our sweet baby girl, breast milk and spit-up could be.

When you are in the throws of life with a new baby, you are hyper-focused on making them comfortable: warm, fed, held, diapered, bathed, etc…and this is good and instinctual. The only draw back is how easily you can forget to do many of these things for yourself. Feeding your own needs gives you the endurance to feed your baby’s needs. This goes for partners too – we are in this together, and we all need sweet soothing to keep our sanity in tact. Doing something nurturing for each of your five senses, every day, is a great way to keep yourself fueled.

Here are some of my favorite examples:

Smell: Stock up on some of your favorite scented candles. Take a few seconds to light one in whatever room you’re spending the most time in. The smell of a few drops of essential lavender oil on a pillow near where you breastfeed can help relax you.

Touch: Treat yourself to some new lounge pants and super soft t-shirts. You’ll spend a ton of time at home in the first few months, so having cute, comfortable clothes you feel good in can help cheer you up. Hot baths soothe your body and your spirit. Back rubs and hugs for and from your partner feel great and help you stay close and connected.

Sight: Surround yourself with photos of friends, family and artwork that either makes you feel calm or cracks you up. No Edvard Munch in the nursery, okay? If you can change the scenery when you breastfeed, try different spots in the house, or near a window where you can see outside.

Hearing: Music. Take the extra five seconds to turn it on. Whatever helps you transcend, feel happy, upbeat, relaxed… identify the feeling you crave and choose the music to best elicit it. And don’t pressure yourself to play kid-friendly music only – chances are good your baby will love hearing whatever you listened to while he or she rocked out in your belly.

Taste: Make sure to eat and drink. It is so easy to forget this when you’re trying to keep up with the voracious appetite of a newborn. Go with suggestions from your OB or midwife on what’s best if you’re breast-feeding, find some things you love and savor them every day. I used to say “good morning” out loud and smile at my cup of decaf before taking the first sip. It was that delicious.

BPP Sanity Savers:

Taking care of yourself is imperative to the endurance needed for caring for a newborn.
Think about what your senses love the most, and stock up on supplies for feeding them in advance. Attend to all 5, every day.
Talk with your partner in advance about ways you can help each other nurture yourselves – you both need and deserve TLC!

Here’s to strength and sanity,

Cheryl

Go to Bed Angry… Once in Awhile :: Tuesday Tip

February 3, 2014 By: babyproofedparents4 Comments

Most of us have heard the old adage: Never go to bed angry. In other words, you should always kiss and make up with your partner before your head hits the pillow.

Unfortunately, this is not always realistic for most of us living, breathing humans.

There is another piece of advice that goes something like this: Never initiate an argument or try to work through a disagreement when you are exhausted, hungry, sick, or really grumpy. Chances are that the argument will not get resolved and that it might even get ugly.

When you are pregnant, or a new parent, there will be times you are feeling wiped out, edgy, hormonal, ravenous, or all of those at once. This also applies to men – dads can feel equally tired and drained. Give yourself a quick body check when you and your partner embark on a touchy subject. If your stomach is grumbling or your shoulders are drooping, ask your partner to table the conversation until you can get something to eat or a good night’s sleep.

And then, make sure you agree on a time to pick up where you left off, when you’re both in a better place:

I really want to resolve this with you. Would you mind if we revisited this subject after breakfast tomorrow? I’m beat and I can tell that I might be prone to biting your head off at this moment. Literally, I might bite your head off…

Chances are that the conversation will take on a whole new shade when you are feeling rested and whole.

Self-care. You are going to be hearing a lot about that in this blog. It is the key to staying sane and strong as a parent and a partner.

BPP Sanity Savers

Scan your body before embarking on a touchy subject with your partner. If exhausted, sick or testy, request a time out and pick up the topic later.
Put aside a few minutes every day to check in with each other. Choose a time when you are most likely to be rested and fed.
Encourage your partner and yourself to take time for self-care (examples: an extra hour of sleep, a hot bath or a 30-minute trip to Target while baby and partner stay home.) Your communication and relationship will benefit!

Here’s to strength and sanity –

Kirsten

Pre & Postnatal Yoga Guru :: Wednesday Wisdom

January 28, 2014 By: babyproofedparents2 Comments

For our inaugural Wednesday Wisdom, we had the pleasure of interviewing Hannah Williams. Hannah describes herself as a “Yoga teachin’, Guitar Slingin’ Mamasita of two very sparkly little girls.” She has a passion for creating space, community (and a good workout!) to mamas in their baby-making years. She has been a student of yoga for twenty years and a teacher for seven with a specialty in pre and postnatal yoga. Being a musician as well, Hannah is known for her musical playlists and an occasional serenade on guitar during savasana. She has also trained with Birthing From Within and loves to support mothers unconditionally no matter what their birthing or mothering preferences are and encourages the love and non-judgment for all mamas out there!

Short on time? Skip to the Three Sanity Savers.

BPP: When and how did you become a yoga instructor?
HW: In 2005 after I moved to Austin, my practice became a lot more regular than it had been in the past. I fell in love with some amazing teachers and went religiously to their classes. This is awful, but one day the yoga studio got broken into and my teacher’s purse was stolen. That moment was so upsetting. I remember just standing there shocked and said in tears “How could anyone do that to people that devote their lives to making the lives of others better?” That’s when it hit me. I wanted to dive into my yoga studies and devote MY life to uplifting and empowering others. I got in that moment how special that was.

BPP: Has yoga impacted your own life as a parent?
HW: We all have our crazy days…..But I have much fewer of them because of my yoga practice! I think the biggest thing has been self care, whatever that means for you. Journal writing can be as powerful and impactful as meditation for me. But these days since having my second child, I focus on gratitude whenever I possibly can, when I roll out of bed, brush my teeth, whenever! I also get into my yoga room and do some kind of practice. Even if it’s five minutes. Five minutes of meditation and intention setting completely shifts the course of my day for the better. Most importantly practicing Ahimsa (loving kindness towards myself and all beings.) When my five year old is having a meltdown I can pull out all my hair and join her or I can give her love and compassion. The latter always wins.

BPP: What are the benefits of yoga for expecting or new parents?
HW: The practice of being present. When we meditate or follow our breath in a yoga class we are training our brains to become still. We are absorbed in the moment and filling it with awareness and intention. Releasing expectation is also HUGE. We put so much pressure on ourselves and our partners and it can cause a great deal of inner turmoil and conflict. We can have more positive outcomes when we focus on what’s working instead and on what we appreciate in ourselves and others. And of course yoga helps to relieve all those aches and pains we get during pregnancy and postpartum! While pregnant, it’s so important to stay strong as well as open up space in our bodies by stretching and lubrication our joints. Our center of gravity completely shifts, and that causes a lot of strain and pain in our back and pelvis. We can make it a whole lot more comfortable with yoga poses and body awareness. After the baby comes, we spend so much time sitting and nursing or feeding that our our shoulders roll forward and need to be opened as well as our quads and hip flexors. It also comes back to self care. We’ve got to fill our cup or we have nothing to give. The community building and connecting with other expecting or new parents is also something that’s really special. It’s one of my favorite things about teaching. I love watching those friendships build.

BPP: Favorite pose for an expecting mom?
HW: Wow, there are so many I love. But I think if I had to pick just one favorite it would have to be Viparita Karani (legs up the wall.) I call it “The Mother of all prenatal poses.” You elevate your hips on a bolster or folded blankets so that there is still proper blood flow to your heart and it feels so amazing. It releases the anti-stress hormone, serotonin so it’s very helpful in reducing anxiety and helping you sleep better which is oh-so-common during pregnancy. It is also great for relieving low back and hip pain, varicose and spider veins, edema (swelling of the feet and ankles), hemorrhoids, really, you name it and this pose is a cure all! Of course there are always exceptions and contraindications though like high blood pressure, so it’s important to chat with your care provider and teacher before practicing this at home.

BPP: Do you encourage new parents to bring their infants to yoga class?
HW: Absolutely. As long as it’s a postnatal class. Usually when they’re really little we can’t break away from them and so it’s better to bring them! We also do baby yoga, we sing songs to them with movement, we practice poses with them and expose them to yoga! We get to nurse them or feed them, change them, whatever they need and we’re still absorbing YOGA and connecting with other new Moms and babies.

BPP: Would you recommend prenatal yoga to a mom who has never practiced yoga before?
HW: Yes. Many Moms start out with prenatal yoga. Most classes, unless specified are geared towards all levels. Beginners are a huge majority in prenatal yoga. I feel like I offer more modifications to advanced students! Although by the third trimester even the most advanced students are slowing way down!

BPP: Have you ever been brought to tears by a yoga student or class?
HW: Oh yes, many times. Once when a mom was sharing about her worries of how her older child would feel when the baby is born. She started crying and the next thing you knew there weren’t many dry eyes. I think we could all relate or imagine what that must feel like. And there has been loss. That’s always really hard. I had the most amazing student several years ago who shared the loss of her baby a year prior and was there every week in her second pregnancy with so much love and attention to her every move, every breath. She was the strongest most beautiful woman. I told her that one day after class and then cried my eyes out as soon as she walked away. I wasn’t as good at holding back the tears when I was pregnant with my students.

BPP: You’re also a musician. How has music played a role in your yoga practice and your life as a parent?
HW: Yes! I love to talk about the link between yoga and music. Music has played a role in my practice by my carefully thought out playlists, as well as songs I’ll sometimes sing in savasana that are appropriate to the theme or time in life. But it’s yoga that has impacted my music even more. I am such a better musician, artist and performer since diving into yoga in teacher training. I have an entire workshop dedicated to that! (Yoga for Musicians) And back to why I became a teacher in the first place, it’s the same with music. Most of my songs have a positive message or a silver lining. My intention is to inspire, uplift and empower people through music and yoga. At home music is on a lot of the time. We have many dance parties (in the womb and out!) And my five year old has been singing since she could talk basically. She actually kicked me off stage at my own show and made up a beautiful song on the spot. She did it again when we were recording my record and we put it on the album and she tore the house down at my record release show! My littlest is obsessed with the guitar. Every time I play she crawls over, eyes and mouth open wide and starts strumming. My husband is also a guitar player and singer who’s playing all the time and we have a music studio that they love to hang out in. I’ve been finally getting back to writing a lot since having my second kiddo and I play and sing every day. It’s just a part of life at home! The most rewarding thing has been to hear my daughter sing my songs. Especially the really positive ones. That’s what it’s all about!

BPP: Final question – If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
HW: Do something nice for yourself every day, no matter what it is, just take care of yourself. Love your partner, appreciate all they do and be grateful as much as you can for all the wonderful things in your life. Try to keep positivity the running theme in your life and listen to inspirational books on tape or documentaries while you do your regular household duties throughout the day. Laugh a lot and have date nights! Oh wait, you said one tip! Here it is. Be grateful and positive and everything else will fall into place!

Hannah’s Sanity Savers:

With or without experience, pregnant and new moms can benefit from yoga.
Yoga helps parents to slow down, breathe and be present in the midst of the chaos.
Putting aside time every day for self-care and gratitude (even if it is only for a few minutes) will help you to remain more positive and be a more happy, stable parent.