Most of us have heard the old adage: Never go to bed angry. In other words, you should always kiss and make up with your partner before your head hits the pillow.
Unfortunately, this is not always realistic for most of us living, breathing humans.
There is another piece of advice that goes something like this: Never initiate an argument or try to work through a disagreement when you are exhausted, hungry, sick, or really grumpy. Chances are that the argument will not get resolved and that it might even get ugly.
When you are pregnant, or a new parent, there will be times you are feeling wiped out, edgy, hormonal, ravenous, or all of those at once. This also applies to men – dads can feel equally tired and drained. Give yourself a quick body check when you and your partner embark on a touchy subject. If your stomach is grumbling or your shoulders are drooping, ask your partner to table the conversation until you can get something to eat or a good night’s sleep.
And then, make sure you agree on a time to pick up where you left off, when you’re both in a better place:
I really want to resolve this with you. Would you mind if we revisited this subject after breakfast tomorrow? I’m beat and I can tell that I might be prone to biting your head off at this moment. Literally, I might bite your head off…
Chances are that the conversation will take on a whole new shade when you are feeling rested and whole.
Self-care. You are going to be hearing a lot about that in this blog. It is the key to staying sane and strong as a parent and a partner.
BPP Sanity Savers
- Scan your body before embarking on a touchy subject with your partner. If exhausted, sick or testy, request a time out and pick up the topic later.
- Put aside a few minutes every day to check in with each other. Choose a time when you are most likely to be rested and fed.
- Encourage your partner and yourself to take time for self-care (examples: an extra hour of sleep, a hot bath or a 30-minute trip to Target while baby and partner stay home.) Your communication and relationship will benefit!
Here’s to strength and sanity –