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The Role of A Doula :: Wednesday Wisdom

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brasenell

Meet Phyllis Brasenell.  Phyllis is co-owner of AustinBorn, a boutique doula collective meeting the needs of parents from pregnancy to birth to early parenting.  Phyllis is a DONA-certified birth doula and DONA-trained postpartum doula, with diverse experience including multiples, single parents, surrogacy, VBAC, home birth, and still birth.  She currently serves as the Vice President of the Central Texas Doula Association. Phyllis is passionate about supporting women and their families. Before becoming a doula, she worked with pregnant teens and teen moms to complete their education and gain independence.  As a volunteer with the UN World Food Program in Ghana, she supported the well-being of breastfeeding women and children.  I have loved interviewing women like Phyllis for our BPP Wisdom treasure chest – but there’s one downside.  I repeatedly think, “I wish I had known you when I was pregnant!”  We are excited to highlight her compassionate perspective as a doula, and hope it encourages pregnant moms to seriously consider enlisting this beautiful form of support.

BPP: Please describe the role a doula plays during a woman’s pregnancy and the baby’s birth.
PB: We compliment the care of a doctor, midwife, or nurse by providing non-medical care for the mother and her partner with continuous informational, physical, and emotional support before, during, and after birth. I like to think of us as a knowledgeable guide helping mothers achieve a positive birth experience, as they define it.

BPP: What drew you to becoming a doula?
PB: My background is in social work and education with girls and women (with a brief stint in the corporate world for good measure). I became a doula because I saw my friends starting their families and feeling unsure and afraid of the process. I loved the idea of helping women to feel more confident in pregnancy, birth and parenting while also bringing their partners more actively into the process.

BPP: What are some specific ways doulas advocate for laboring moms in the hospital setting?
PB: We don’t speak on behalf of mothers or their partners because we encourage them to find their own voice. We create the opportunity for mothers to advocate for themselves by making sure they’re receiving and understanding information. So for instance, in the hospital setting if an intervention is proposed I’ll remind mom to ask “BRAIN” – Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, what does my Intuition say, and what happens if we say No?

BPP:What advice do you have for fathers/parenting partners on how to best support a laboring mom?
PB: The first is to look after yourself! This seems counterintuitive but you need to care for yourself so that you can fully care for a laboring mom. Make sure you’re eating, hydrating, resting, and using the bathroom. My second piece of advice is to be present. There’s no magic trick for supporting a woman in labor because only she can birth the baby. But feeling loved and held by her partner does wonders for her emotional state and the physical production of helpful hormones. Now’s not the time to be on your smart phone or tablet. And if in labor a partner forgets everything they learned in childbirth education class, just repeat “I love you. You’re strong. You’re doing it.”

BPP:You’ve talked about how many people see doulas as a “luxury item.”  How do you counter that belief?
PB: The evidence for continuous labor support is there– births with doulas have lower rates of intervention (including c-section) and higher rates of satisfaction. We’re also endorsed by ACOG as one of the most effective ways to improve labor and delivery outcomes. But we’re rarely covered by insurance which means the care of a professional doula is an out-of-pocket cost.  I encourage parents to think of having a doula as an investment– all the products and stuff we buy for new baby will fall by the wayside but a mother and her partner will remember the day their child was born forever.

BPP: What parts of the birth process/caring for a newborn do you find moms are often unprepared for?
PB: No one is better prepared than a pregnant woman! She’s reading stacks of books, taking classes, and going into the hospital or birth center with multiple bags packed. But we don’t do a lot of the emotional work needed for the birth process, especially breaking through fear and anxiety. Along those same lines, not many moms are prepared for a departure from their birth plan. They’ll have a very particular idea of how they want it to go and it can be very jarring when there’s a change. I try to emphasize that it’s best to prepare ahead of time while also knowing that we can’t go into labor/birth with the chapters pre-written– birth is a story that unfolds as you go.

Caring for a newborn also throws emotional curve balls. Many moms hear one of two stories: the blissed-out new mama where everything with baby is peaceful and easy or the struggling new mama who is sleep deprived and weepy. Not many moms are prepared for the fact that there’s room for both. We don’t like conflicting emotions but it really is normal to feel totally in love with your new baby and also missing your old life. That’s okay. You can love motherhood and sometimes kind of hate it at the same time and still be an amazing parent.

Phyllis Headshot

BPP: What are your favorite and most challenging parts of being a doula?
PB: My favorite part is getting to know so many diverse families from different walks of life, and I’m still in complete awe at every birth I support. It’s funny because at once it’s an ordinary process (truth time: it’s a bodily function!) but also absolutely remarkable and trans-formative. I love seeing partners look at each other after their baby is born and say, “We did it!” But the challenging part of being present at such an intimate and intense time is that it can be emotionally and physically draining. We put a lot of love and energy into the families we work with and it usually takes a couple days to recuperate from a birth. The hours and unpredictability are also tough, but now I have two partner doulas and a call schedule which helps, because we know we won’t be away from our own families for more than 24 hours at a time.

BPP: What are some misperceptions about doulas you’d like to correct?
PB: There are three biggies:

  1. That we’ll be at odds with your doctor/midwife/nurse or try to persuade you in medical decision making. Really, we consider ourselves a member of your “birth team”, and it’s in everyone’s best interest if we communicate/work well with your other providers. And sure, we’ll be a sounding board as you process information, but we trust you to make your own choices.
  2. That we will push an agenda. Do we believe birth is a normal and safe process? Absolutely. Do we think breastfeeding is great for mom and baby? You betcha. But above all else we are pro-mother and we respect how she chooses to give birth and parent.
  3. That we’ll replace the partner, but our goal is actually the opposite! Prenatally, we talk a lot about the role the partner would like to have at the labor/birth and how we can facilitate that. It looks different for everyone, but it often means reminding the partner of labor comfort measures, reassuring them that everyone is doing well, or “spelling” them so they can grab a sandwich or shower without leaving mom to labor alone.

BPP:  If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
PB:  In the first couple months postpartum, meal calendars are a must and I swear by a chore list for visiting guests (I find that friends and family really want to help but aren’t always sure how).
Also, put down the books! Okay, okay, don’t put down all the books, but what I mean is this: do educate yourself so you have a good baseline of information going into parenting. But also know that no one and no book will know your new baby like you do. Learn your baby.

Thank you Phyllis, for sharing your wisdom! You and your team are an amazing resource for expectant parents everywhere.

C & K ♥

Featured Photo Copyright: macsim / 123RF Stock Photo

On New Parents & Sex – Dr. Pat Love :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Pat Love newest photo

Meet Dr. Pat Love.  It’s impossible to encapsulate Pat in a few sentences, or to fully showcase her expertise in one blog post, so we’ve chosen to glean her knowledge on transitioning your sexual relationship through the addition of a new baby to your family.  You’ve likely seen Pat on TV and run across her articles in popular magazines, but she’s also a distinguished professor, licensed marriage and family therapist and long-standing clinical member/approved supervisor for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists.  Pat has authored/co-authored numerous articles and six books, including Hot Monogamy and How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.  She’s a popular national and international presenter, trainer and relationship consultant, but most of all, after 30 years she simply enjoys being a helper.  I first heard Pat being interviewed on a radio talk show, and mid-way realized I was shouting out loud, “Yes!!!  Me toooo!”  When I’m yelling at a tiny clock radio in an empty bathroom, I’m pretty sure I’m in the presence of wisdom.

BPP: What drew you to specializing in relationships and intimacy issues?

PL: I am a life-long learner, and the drive to learn led me to research and study relationships. I had a lot to learn personally about love, intimacy, sexuality and parenting, and the more I learned along the way, the more I was able to pass this knowledge on to my clients as well as others in the helping professions.  Because relationships are more difficult in the 21st century, the challenge of helping families and couples keeps me energized and excited. I am very grateful for meaningful work and the practical knowledge I’ve been able to pass on to others. It’s an exciting time to be a relationship consultant!

BPP: What are common sexual intimacy issues you see in couples who have added a new baby to the family?

PL: Pure exhaustion has to be the number one issue.  The 24/7 responsibility cannot be explained to anyone who has not experienced it.  Sleep deprivation, worry, time pressure and caregiver-overwhelm—all create a form of stress unlike any other.  Oddly, this type of strain makes half the population want sex more and the other half of the population want sex less (Uh, what would be below wanting it less?  Unconscionable?  Out of the realm of possibility?  Infuriating?  Seriously?).  A typical couple has one person from each category so you do the math.  Desire discrepancy is the norm in most couples, but it becomes exacerbated during the first couple of parenthood years.  This “I’m Hot and You’re Not Syndrome” can cause stress and compassion fatigue in couples.

Another fact not given enough attention is that new moms don’t get their normal libido back for at least a year after the baby’s birth, and even longer with breast feeding.  This is Nature’s way of getting you to focus on this baby instead of making another one.  Women may need to be more proactive when it comes to creating sexual desire, possibly a new experience not required before.

Another issue: the role of providing post-partum help and assistance to the mom.  It is imperative for the partner to understand that help and support is directly tied to the mother’s sex drive.  A partner who does not help is providing a strong sexual disincentive to the mother!  Whatever is more powerful than a “turnoff” —use that word here to describe how it feels to be expected to be sexual when your partner is not helping or sensitive to the need for help.

One more thought: a new baby changes the family constellation and the roles the partners personify.  When it’s just the two of you, all your discretionary time can be lavished on one another.  Plus, the expectations are unified around the role of partner, best friend, confidant, sexual partner.  When baby arrives, all of the sudden you are Mom and Dad, not just lovers and spouses.  Whole new ball game.  You are now sharing your time, energy and attention with another person who is by nature very demanding and determined to be the priority.

If the new baby isn’t your first, the issues mentioned above are still relevant because two, or three or four children take more time than one.

BPP: What is the average time frame in which a new mom could expect to feel her libido return to normal, and what are the factors that reduce a woman’s sex-drive after giving birth?

PL: This depends upon how long you’ve been in the relationship; how much personal knowledge you have about your own arousal/desire style; and your desire level prior to the pregnancy.  For most women, the libido fully returns in about a year or after breast feeding has ceased.  Medications and hormones can obviously change this.  Women with a naturally high libido can see a return sooner.

BPP: What advice would you offer a new mom who is physically able to resume her sexual relationship, but can’t seem to get into the mood?

PL: First and foremost, honor yourself for sharing this normal experience with millions of women around the world!  Second, let your imagination run wild and fantasize about what would excite you (not just sexually, but what would excite you period!).  If your answer is something like, “A month of restful sleep,” then so be it.  Negotiate from this point.

Post-partum turn-ons are likely very different than before.  Be brave in voicing your needs and desires.  If you need some of the pampering the baby is getting, then put it in positive, measureable and specific (you can remember the acronym PMS) terms for your partner to lavish on you.  Examples: “For the next full week, let me sleep through the night while you get up with the baby.” “Take care of dinner through the end of this month.” “Ask your mom to bring dinner over once a week.” “Take care of the baby for one hour in the evening while I have some time to myself.”

BPP: What advice/perspective would you offer fathers/parenting partners who are feeling frustrated with the lack of post-baby physical intimacy?

First, do everything in your power to lower your partner’s stress; this is post-partum foreplay!  Second, be as patient as possible in the first three months.     Third, be clear about your sexual needs; make sure you are voicing your desire in a kind, clear manner.  Lavish each other with S.O.S., skin-on-skin contact. It’s not just the baby who needs affection and caregiving!  Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from good books, sites and support.

baby proofed parents

BPP:  What are ways expectant couples can prepare proactively mentally/emotionally for the possible changes in their post-baby sexual relationship?

PL:  Read, learn, talk to others who have done it successfully.  Make sure your communication skills are exceptional; couples who can stay connected through this time are the happiest.  Prioritize tasks and make sure your relationship is on the list.  Some things you can let go for years (a neat garage or the perfect yard); others have to be made vital.

BPP:  What do you find yourself saying over and over to new moms about their sexual relationships?  New dads/parenting partners?

PL: Partnering is the primary part of parenting!

BPP:  What are ways new parents can remain close intimately during the first 6 weeks after giving birth, when sex is off limits, and both parents are exhausted?

PL:  Holding each other while you hold the baby.  Lots of S.O.S. (skin-on-skin) with one another.  Sleeping and napping together.  Keeping chores to a minimum.  Let others help.  Ask for help so you can enjoy each other as well as the baby.  Buy sleep, rest and fun via hiring out to get chores done.  When others offer help, let them do the jobs that will enable you two to spend time together and with the baby.

BPP:  If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?

PL: Buy more underwear—you won’t have to worry about doing laundry for yourself that way.

Thank you Pat, for your accessible suggestions and guardianship of couples!  We value your work and are grateful for your contribution to our BPP volume of wisdom.  And, we can’t resist this opportunity to note the sheer perfection of your last name.  

C & K ♥

Raising Multilingual Children :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Tips to raising multi-lingual children

Claudia and her family.

Meet Claudia Kramer Santamaria.  She is a lifelong educator who has worked as a teacher, elementary principal and currently, the Supervisor of Parent Programs for Austin Independent School District.  We asked Claudia to share about  her experience of immigrating to the United States from Uruguay as a child. We also wanted to learn about the powerful decision she and her husband made to raise their children in a multilingual and multicultural environment.  Claudia has loads of wisdom to share and we are so grateful to feature her on Baby Proofed Parents today. ¡Bienvenido Claudia!

BPP: You are a fully bilingual adult with no audible accent, so people might not realize that you were born in the South American country of Uruguay. How old were you when you moved to the states? Was it challenging acclimating to the American culture as a Spanish-speaking child?

CKS: I was 5 years old when I came to the United States from Uruguay.  I had learned my basics in Kindergarten, in Uruguay, so English is definitely my second language.  I grew up in a very multicultural and multilingual area of Queens, NY and although I lived with people who spoke many different languages, the schools that I attended were English-only.  I remember coming home crying with massive headaches as a 1st grader, unable to understand or speak the language spoken all around me.  It’s still painful to think back to that time of my life; I cried everyday to my mom – begging her to not send me to that place (school). When I moved from Queens to Houston at the age of 13, it was like moving back in time. This time it wasn’t a language barrier but one of cultural identity – I was an outcast in both the “white world” and the “Mexican world” because I didn’t neatly fit in either category. I  found that experience to be equally heart breaking.

BPP: Can you share about the decision that you and your American-born husband, Benjamin, made to raise your children with Spanish as their first language while living in Austin?

CKS: As a result of my struggles to find my identify in the American and Texan worlds, my immigrant identity became stronger!  I held on to the culture, language, music and food of Uruguay.  I have my parents to thank for this. We only spoke Spanish at home, watched Spanish TV channels and interacted with Latino family friends.  My husband, Benjamin, had lived in Ecuador for two years and had an understanding of the Latino life and language. That was an important characteristic that I looked for in a future husband. When we married and talked about children, I shared the need to make sure that our children rooted themselves in the language and culture of both parents.  Benjamin understood that they would gain the English culture and traditions just by living here – so he agreed to help me establish the Latino culture in our children.

BPP: How did you introduce your children to English when Spanish was the predominantly spoken language at home? How have they benefited from being bilingual?

CKS: Not much effort was needed to introduce our children to English – they are surrounded by the language. They were exposed to English by their friends, TV, movies, music, and of course school.
The benefits of being bilingual include being able to experience two worlds of language, culture, music, and traditions. We travel to Uruguay frequently so they may continue their relationship with their Spanish-speaking family.  They are able to have an authentic relationship with my father who lives in Uruguay and speaks only Spanish. They can read stories in two languages. In fact, we have introduced Mandarin to both children through an after school program.

BPP: When your young children began interacting with other kids and adults, out and about in Austin, did they struggle with a language barrier? Have they encountered any speech, comprehension or reading difficulties due to being bilingual?

CKS: At first, when we were out, they would look to us for help or explanation. I think other people were struggling to understand why Ben and I were doing this to our children! As kids, they never struggled – they would look to us to translate and then tell us what they wanted to say or experiment creatively with the language.
My daughter, Sophia is now above her grade level in reading and writing in both English and Spanish. She is only eight years old, but can read Harry Potter in both languages. She also speaks beginning Mandarin beautifully. Fernando is even more advanced in all three languages!

BPP: Your children now attend a dual-language school where they learn in both Spanish and English.  Can you share about how their school is unique and how they incorporate the two languages?

CKS: Sophia has 50% of her instruction in English and 50% of her instruction in Spanish.  Our school district uses the Gómez and Gómez Dual Language Enrichment Model. You can read more about this system and its protocols at this link.  Unfortunately my daughter’s art, music and PE classes are all in English, since the teachers speak English only.  Ideally we would love her social interactions to be in both… but they are predominantly in English.  She has a “bilingual pair” whom she works closely with throughout the day – one child is a native Spanish speaker and one child is a native English speaker.  The goal of the dual language program is that by the end of 5th grade, children will be bi-literate and bi-cultural.

BPP: As you raise your two children in America, do you notice any cultural differences between South American and American child-upbringing practices? Do you incorporate any traditions or practices into the upbringing of your own children?

CKS:  We are lucky as a family to stay very connected to Uruguay by traveling there every few years and staying there a minimum of two to three weeks.  Hence, we are constantly learning more about South American traditions, food options, music, and books.  These experiences help us to hold onto the South American culture and language.
We have the tooth fairy AND the ‘ratoncitos’ (little mice that come to get your tooth at night).
We celebrate Christmas AND ‘El Día de los Reyes’ (The Day of the Three Kings.) We also celebrate Chanukah for that matter!
We sing songs and rhymes from Uruguayan children’s books and CD’s.  And of course, we read to them from Mother Goose!

BPP:  For English-speaking parents who do not speak a second language, how and when do you recommend that they introduce their children to another language? What do you think are the advantages to exposing young children to multiple languages?

CKS:  I have studied and applied Bilingual Education practices for over 20 years and I can honestly recommend that sooner is better to introduce a child to a second or even a third language. The earlier, the better.  There are a number of reputable Spanish/French/Mandarin Immersion day cares in Austin (and most other cities) that parents can research.  In addition, our school district here in Austin now has twelve dual-language schools that teach children in the Gómez model from Kinder – 5th grade.

Claudia&daughter

BPP: You have been, and continue to be, a life-long and influential educator. Have you found that your experience and expertise as an educator has impacted how you parent and raise your children?

CKS:  My educator experiences have incredibly influenced my parenting, especially in this area of language acquisition. With my first born, I felt I was doing some sort of ‘experiment’ to see if in fact a Spanish-only environment would help or hinder my daughter’s English language acquisition… but what I learned as a teacher and a principal held water.  The ‘power language’ – the language in the greater environment, outside of the home – will always prevail.  That is why parents must be strategic and focused on applying experiences for the children in the 2nd and 3rd languages that you want the child to learn.  We are constantly thinking about how to have a Chinese influence in Sophia’s life since her only exposure is twice a week at the Chinese school.  We are actually going to China for 14 days this summer so that she can attend a Chinese school.  The commitment to the languages we want our kids to learn must be REAL.

BPP:  If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to an expectant or new parent, what would it be?

CKS:  Pick a language other than English that you want your child to learn.  Begin your research NOW on how to expose him/her to that language.  And let the fun begin!

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story and expertise with us Claudia! You are a true example of someone who lives and parents according to their values and traditions. – C & K ♥

On Prenatal Pregnancy Massage :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Massage Therapist and Birth Journey Facilitator

Luna Wood

 

Meet Luna Wood.  Luna is a Nationally Licensed Massage Therapist and Birth Journey Facilitator with over 20 years of experience.  She trained through DONA (Doulas of North America) and ALACE (Association of Labor Assistants & Childbirth Educators), and is currently a Certified Massage Doula graduating from the advanced six month Massage Doula program at the Star Institute. She has taught various programs at the Star Institute & Austin School of Massage and has 13 years of experience as an instructor specializing in pregnancy and childbirth. She currently has a thriving practice at South Congress Massage.  If I’d known Luna during my pregnancies, you couldn’t have pried me off her massage table.  She is a gifted, genuine, vibrant woman, and we are honored to feature her wisdom!

BPP: You were a doula for years, and then transitioned to massage therapy.  What drew you to changing your career direction?

LW: I LOVE attending births and I still attend 1-2 a year, however, it has become a challenge to be on call around the clock.  My son is 13, and he is involved in many extra-curricular activities.  I also love to travel, and when you attend births you are unable to do so.  As a busy parent, I find massage easier to schedule, and my day is over earlier, so I can have quality family time.  I also find massage to be relaxing for me as a practitioner.  Every session is a meditation for me.  I get to focus on that person and be completely in the moment.  When I’m on vacation I miss the ritual of my massage practice.  It’s a wonderful way to pace my day and really connect with people in a healing space.

Prenatal massage therapy reduces stress

BPP:  Describe what a pregnant mom would experience in a prenatal massage.

LW:  Prenatal massage is so relaxing for mama and baby.  I treat it as two people who want to be in harmony together.  Massaging pregnant women is my favorite because moms are so open to education and feedback, and sometimes just need a listening ear.  I feel privileged to work with pregnant women. Prenatal massage is so important for the mother’s circulatory system, adrenals, hormones and joints, but equally as important for emotional and spiritual connection.  It’s my goal to help the pregnant mama and baby leave my studio feeling fully nurtured and supported mentally, physically and spiritually.

BPP:  What do you focus on when providing massage to a brand new mom?

LW:  Many times new moms need education and information.  Most of the time, I find they need an open ear to LISTEN.  First time mothers are saturated with information from the internet.  Information overload is not helpful.  Many times we just need to process the journey of pregnancy and parenting.  I ask my clients to read books with interesting pregnancy stories or ask them to do artwork, or go hang out in nature.  The brain needs a break so we can be fully present with our growing babies.

BPP:  As a parent, how have you personally worked to obtain good work and personal life balance?

LW:  I receive massages or another form of bodywork at least once a week.  When I was pregnant with my son 13 years ago I was attending births and practicing massage.  I was forced to slow down when my blood pressure rose from doing too much.  I learned a valuable lesson about self care.  Being pregnant made me more aware of the foods I was eating, and helped me make sure I rested well.  I also practiced prenatal yoga and swam at Deep Eddy Pool everyday.  When my son was born, I made an agreement with myself that I would not go longer than a month without receiving massage or other types of bodywork, and I’ve stuck to it.  Massage is not a form of pampering.  It is preventative care.

BPP:  What benefits could dads/parenting partners get from massage?

LW:  I always remind dads and partners that they are pregnant too!  Just because they are not physically carrying the baby, they ARE carrying the baby energetically and emotionally.  Fathers/partners feel lots of financial and emotional pressures when their partner is expecting.  They nest and prepare just like their partner.  It is important that they receive self care as well.  They don’t want to work and burn out before the baby even gets here.  They need to show up to childbirth and baby care classes, not to mention the birth, with a full tank.  Partners need to model self care, because they will be going through sleep deprivation, fastening car seats and changing diapers soon enough.  Self care should be a good habit that gets started from the beginning of the pregnancy, because once the first child is born, time is such a luxury!   If you make your appointments for massage, take your hot baths, or go for a run regularly it will be easier to keep your good habits once the baby is here.

BPP:  What is your favorite part of working with expectant moms?

LW:  I love that moms do their homework.  What does this mean?  If you ask them to do a breath work technique, drink lots of water, practice some pelvic rocks, sit on the exercise ball, work with visualization, and get massage and bodywork, they actually do it!  They are wonderful clients because they are not only looking out for their best interest but alsol the interest of the baby.  I also love working with babies.  It’s like doing infant massage before they are even born.  I turn the mom on her left side, then her right, and by the time I get to the belly the baby is usually all nestled in and relaxed.  Sometimes if I’m lucky, I will feel a little kick or nudge of enjoyment.  This gives me great joy to share such a beautiful experience with this new soul.  I’m not thinking about my grocery list or what I did yesterday.  I’m RIGHT THERE IN THAT MOMENT!  There is nothing else quite like that moment with that little one and her mama.

BPP:  In your experience, what mental/emotional blocks do expectant moms have to self-care (such as regular massage therapy), and what is your response to those blocks?

LW:  What I find most about moms is that they feel guilty for taking time or money for self care (massage, acupuncture,  yoga class, nutritional support).  I often hear that massage is a luxury, and I often reply, ” No, it’s preventative medicine and it would be wonderful if our health care paid for it!”  In our culture it’s ok to spend money on a new haircut, highlights or a pedicure, but not on our body and health.

Time also becomes a luxury in a growing family.  We can not be sane parents without some time for ourselves. It is imperative that we create this in our lives.  Even as a single parent, I made time to have self care while my son’s godmother was at my home or when he was in preschool.  As moms we have to put ourselves first because no one else is going to.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?

LW:  Take naps, get massages, do yoga (even if it’s only 5 min on the floor) and take some time to meditate.  I have made a point to take at least five minutes of meditation before I get out of bed in the morning and jump into my day.  Good habits will take you a long way and keep you sane.

Thank you, Luna, for your hands-on support and nurturing for babies and moms.  We appreciate your loving work, and your firm stance on massage being a preventative health benefit, not a luxury.  That’s how we feel about all forms of self-care!

C & K ♥

Climbing Out Of The Darkness :: Wednesday Wisdom

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adriane headshot

Meet A’Driane Nieves.  She is a Postpartum Depression and Anxiety survivor who writes about navigating the nuances of motherhood and Bipolar Disorder Type 2.  A’Driane is also a USAF disabled veteran, writer and artist best known for her love of Prince (He re-tweeted her once!), and her hot pink streaked afro.  You can read her mind at her blog Butterfly-Confessions.com, and read her random thoughts on Twitter (@addyeB). She was most recently named one of BlogHer’s Voices of the Year for 2014. She lives in Austin, Texas with her futurist husband and three boys.

BPP: You have written extensively and beautifully about your battle with post-partum depression.  Can you briefly share what living with PPD was like for you?

AD: For me, living with PPD was like living in a dark room that you’re constantly stumbling around in, trying to find a light switch. At the same time, I felt like I was sitting atop a speeding train and had no idea where I was headed. It was a very unsettling and dark period in my life. It was like someone came in and robbed me of myself, of my being, and left nothing but this shell of a person. I felt lost. Very, very lost.

BPP: How did you recognize that your symptoms were more than the average “baby blues”?

AD:  I knew something was wrong when my son (now four years old) was around three months old.  He had moderate reflux during those early months and constantly wanted to be held.  His crying was very triggering for me.  He would cry and I would immediately break out into a sweat. My thoughts would become scattered, my heart would race, my body would tense up and I’d think about running away. On top of anxiety, I also experienced rage and deep wells of depression once the rage would dissipate. The rage was scary –  it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It would come on unexpectedly, usually triggered by something as minor as my older son spilling something. It was so intense, I’d be shaking. I did a lot of screaming, which I still carry a lot of shame about.  I spent a lot of time hiding in the bathroom, crying, consumed with guilt and wondering why I couldn’t enjoy my children.  When I was at my worst, I felt completely overwhelmed and incapable of being a “good” mother. I had intrusive thoughts – scary thoughts would flash through my mind while I was driving, cooking or bathing my kids. I dreaded each day, having to talk to people and even having to hold my son.  There were days I was so “touched out”, holding him or having my oldest give me a hug would make my skin crawl.  It was awful.  Truly awful.  It was hell.  I felt so lost.  Had no idea what was happening to me.

BPP: What helped you to  finally “climb out of the darkness” and overcome your PPD?

AD: When my son was ten months old, I remember being so consumed with sadness for two weeks that I was suicidal.  It was January 2011.  I remember sitting down in my closet one night after my kids had finally gone to bed, closing the door and I just lost it right there, not understanding what was wrong with me, and wanting relief from it.  I had heard of Postpartum Depression but I didn’t really know much about it – I knew of no other women in my life who had it, and my OB didn’t discuss it with me.  When I had mentioned at my six week visit I felt “off” he said it was normal, just hormones, and wrote me a prescription for an anti-depressant (if I felt I needed to use it).  That was it.  So I Googled some of my symptoms and the first site that came up in the search results was Postpartum Progress. I read the “Plain Mama English” guides on what PPD and other postpartum-related mental illnesses were and finally felt like I had an idea as to what I had been experiencing. I emailed Katherine Stone (the founder) and the next day, she responded, reassuring me that I would be OK, I wasn’t a bad mother and that what I had was treatable – I just needed to seek help.  She directed me to the Postpartum Stress Center in Rosemont, PA, and that’s where I began treatment.  Saved my life.  What also helped during my recovery was finding #PPDChat on Twitter, run by Lauren Hale of My Postpartum Voice.  It’s a weekly chat on Twitter that offers peer support from other women who are still struggling and those who are survivors.

BPP: Can you share more about Post-Partum Progress and it’s mission?

AD: Postpartum Progress is a nonprofit laser focused on improving maternal mental health by increasing awareness of  perinatal mood and anxiety disorders like PPD and giving mothers tools that connect them to the help they need.  Postpartum Progress is all about ensuring mothers know the facts on perinatal mental illness, encouraging them to seek treatment as soon as possible, and eliminating the stigma surrounding these illnesses that keep so many women silent and untreated every year.  They empower moms to care for their mental health, which in turn helps their families have the strongest start possible.  It is now known that 1 in 7 mothers experiences a perinatal mental illness like PPD – it is the most common complication of childbirth, impacting over 1 million women every year in just the US alone. Yet only 15% of those impacted receive adequate treatment, so that means more than half a million women are going untreated every year.  Research shows that untreated depression in mothers has a long-term impact on their children’s development, which really makes this not just a women’s health issue but a children’s health issue as well.  The good news is that perinatal mental illnesses are treatable!  Postpartum Progress works hard to create outreach and support programs that help mothers as they work toward recovery.  The community Katherine has built over the last 10 years through Postpartum Progress is just amazing – I’ve never met a braver or more authentic community of women.  So supportive and committed to changing the conversation about mental health and effecting change.  Katherine calls women who suffer from perinatal mental illnesses Warrior Moms, and the Warrior Mom Army is FIERCE.

BPP: How are you currently advocating for PPD awareness and outreach?

AD: Right now most of my advocacy revolves around helping Postpartum Progress in any way I can.  I’m on the editorial team for the blog.  I participated in this year’s Mother’s Day Rally for Moms, an annual event Postpartum Progress holds on the blog every year to encourage pregnant and new moms who are suffering and working their way to recovery.  I’m heavily involved with fundraising for Postpartum Progress through its annual fundraising & awareness event called Climb Out of the Darkness.  On June 21st, the longest day of the year, Warrior Moms all over the world will be climbing, walking, and hiking to represent our rising out of the darkness of PPD and related illness and into the light and hope of recovery.  It is the world’s largest event raising awareness of postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and OCD, postpartum PTSD, postpartum psychosis, postpartum bipolar disorder and depression and anxiety during pregnancy.  I’m also co-chairing the upcoming Warrior Mom Conference which is taking place next summer in Boston.  We’ll be getting together with moms from all over the country to celebrate recovery and get skills training on how to better advocate for maternal mental health in our own communities.  On a smaller scale, I do what I can to help destigmatize ALL mental illness by sharing from my personal experience on my blog and other social media.

BPP:  Can you share some common misconceptions about PPD?

AD: I think one of the biggest misconceptions about PPD is that if you have it, you’re just sad all the time, which isn’t the case for so many women I know. There’s a wide range of symptoms that women can experience based on what type of illness they are suffering from that are very rarely discussed. I mentioned rage eariler – no one ever told me that rage was a symptom of depression, or that noises like an infant crying could trigger an anxiety or panic attack. The other big misconception is that if you just do all the “right” things – eat right, exercise, adopt a certain parenting lifestyle, etc., you will avoid developing PPD, and that it’s something you can just get rid of on your own.  PPD and related illnesses don’t discriminate.  In fact, most women have their first depressive episode in the first year postpartum.  And PPD doesn’t just go away when it’s left untreated.  As I mentioned before it can have a long-term impact on the health of mothers and their babies if never treated properly.

BPP: What is your life like now as a mother?

AD: Life as a mother now is…chaotic but manageable! I have three boys now – a 7, 4, and 6 mo and life is super busy. There are hard days and moments where I’m overwhelmed but I’m grateful to have a treatment plan that works for me, and a solid support system that includes fellow Warrior Moms.  (They seriously are the freaking best.)  My bond with all three of my children (even the one I had PPD with) is rock solid.  My postpartum experience with my 6mo has been the complete opposite of what I experienced 4 years ago.  Having support, and being aware really does make all the difference. I love being a mom now. I don’t dread it like I did during those dark days.

BPP:  You are a seasoned and well-known blogger. Can you talk about how writing has helped you in your battle with a mood-disorder?

AD: I’ve always been a writer but I started my blog as a way to help me just brain dump all that I had going on four years ago.  Writing has always helped me process what I’m wrestling my way through, and my blog has definitely helped me navigate the ups and downs of motherhood and mental illness.  It’s given me a safe place to go to, you know?  It’s the one place I know I can go and just be completely vulnerable, sharing whatever it is that comes out when I start typing on the keyboard.  It gives me insight into myself, and helps me articulate something that I might be having a hard time explaining out loud to someone like my husband or psychiatrist. I t also helps me feel less alone.  People will read and comment, and say, “Hey, me too,” and that helps me keep fighting on the hard days.  Even when no one reads and there aren’t any comments, just having that space to say what I need to is crucial.  My hope is that by being completely honest and vulnerable there, I can leave an archive that my boys can read when they’re older.  They might want to understand who I was as a person living with mental illness, a woman and their mother.

BPP: What advice would you give to any new mother (or father) who feels like they are sinking emotionally after bringing a baby into their life?

AD: You are not alone.  You are not “crazy”.  You are not a bad parent for feeling the way you do, and it’s not your fault you feel this way.  You are loved and worthy and the very best parent for your child.  Be honest with yourself about what you’re experiencing.  Seek professional help.  Be your own advocate-fight for yourself like you would for your child or even for yourself if you had a physical illness like cancer.  Find support groups both online and off.  Let others help you.  It gets better.  It really does.  It did for me.

A’Driane, thank you, thank you for sharing your story with us and for advocating so passionately for other parents who struggle with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Your dedication and transparency are true gifts to other new mothers and fathers. – C & K ♥

Climbing

Want to contribute to Team Austin’s Climb Out of the Darkness Fundraiser? https://www.crowdrise.com/addyeB-COTD2014/fundraiser/addyeB

Want to read more about A’Driane? Check out her blog:  http://butterfly-confessions.com/

Want to learn more about Postpartum Progress?  http://www.postpartumprogress.com/about

Read Katherine Stone’s Call to Action on National Healthy Babies Healthy Mother’s Coalition’s site for their “May Campaign” initiative during Maternal Mental Health Week (this week!): http://www.hmhb.org/2014/05/maternal-mental-health-call-to-action/

Capturing Birth, Infancy and Beyond on Film :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Photo by Deborah Lykins Photography Austin Texas

Deborah Lykins

Meet Deborah Lykins.  She is a professional photographer who specializes in documenting the joys of pregnancy, childbirth, infancy and parenting.  She currently works out of her boutique photography studio, Deborah Lykins Photography & Design in Austin, Texas.

Deborah received her masters degree in photojournalism and has worked with a number of publications including The Austin American Statesman and The New York Times. Her maternity portraits have been featured in Pregnancy Magazine and on KEYE news.

After experiencing the joys of having children, Deborah decided to combine her experience and skill in crafting compelling visual stories with her love of photographing the little people in her life.  She now partners with families to document and capture the emotions and beauty of welcoming these new lives and loves.  We were thrilled to have Deborah share her thoughts on photographing these special moments and on making the most of photography in our own lives.

BPP: How did you become interested in photography and the field of photojournalism?

DL: I’ve always loved to read and tell stories, and always thought I’d be a writer when I was younger. As I grew, I veered from literal storytelling to visual storytelling and got my Bachelors in Fine Arts.  I managed a photo lab – back before digital cameras – and a perk of the job was free film processing and printing.  I really grew and refined my photography skills.  Meanwhile, I was in charge of creating and running a digital lab for the shop, and spent many hours in Photoshop 5 doing digital retouching, restoration and training others on digital processing.

When we moved to Austin, I began working at a graphic design company.  One day, I saw a brochure for a visiting lecture series at UT.  All the speakers were photojournalists, and I felt something click in me. Photojournalism seemed to combine my love of stories and my passion for visual art. I wanted to tell stories about people with my photography. So I gathered up my portfolio, applied and was accepted into the photojournalism graduate program.

BPP: You have worked with publications such as the Austin American Statesman and the NY times. What caused you to switch gears and start focusing your photography on maternity, birth and beyond?

DL: I loved photographing news. I got to meet so many interesting people, and had access to places and things I would not normally get access to: like the floor of the Texas Senate and the field of a UT football game. Once, I flew in a B-25 bomber shooting pictures through a large, open door in the side of the plane. I covered some serious stories, such as military trials at Ft. Hood and missing kids in Laredo, Texas.  I also did light-hearted assignments, like the Wiener Dog races in Buda, Texas.  It was an amazing experience.

However, after having my first son, the uncertain schedule of a freelance photojournalist became difficult and stressful for me. Don’t get me wrong, I know a number of women with families who balance freelancing and parenting, but I also surprised myself by wanting to stay home for a while and focus on being a mom. I decided to take a time out and explore my options. During this new career and personal life shift, I found I could never put my camera away for long.  I realized I still wanted to document and share this new (to me) world I was seeing and experiencing. So, I began documenting families and telling the creation stories of new families.

BPP:  You often use your camera to document the beautiful scene of a mother’s labor and the birth of their child. What is it like to be an outside observer, looking through the lens of your camera, during this momentous occasion for families?

DL: It’s one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had… every time.

The whole process constantly awes me, the strength of the women in labor and the people who support them, the intensity of the emotions, and ultimately the miracle of the birth. Those first moments of a newborn’s life are indescribable. My heart stops and I get choked up, every time.

I am so lucky that couples invite me in, trusting me with these intensely private moments.  I have three young children, and there is a point during every birth I document when I have a visceral reaction. I think, “Oh yeah, I remember feeling that.”  I believe that recollection helps me capture the emotions of the day. I can anticipate and look for the small but fleeting moments of expression, like when foreheads touch, or a hand brushes a brow, or a small kiss lands on the shoulder. Some people think birth photography is about the crowning shot, but it’s really about the emotion of the day and recording those quiet little moments that can get lost in the intensity and excitement of everything else. Most everything in my memory from the births of my three children is a blur.  So many wonderful memories would have been lost if I did not have them documented.

Birth Photography by Deborah Lykins Photography in Austin Texas

BPP: When you have been asked to document a birth, how do you know when to arrive at the birth location? Do you stay during the entire labor and delivery?

DL: I am on call for the few weeks before and after the due date.  I tell Moms to call me when they think labor has started.  That way, I can square away my schedule, childcare and be ready to go. If they are having the baby at home, they usually call again when the midwife is coming, or when they are headed to the hospital or birth center. I stay through the labor, delivery, and the first couple of hours after birth so I can capture all the important moments: the cord cutting, the weighing, the first bath, the foot prints, and of course all the parent-baby nuzzling. I do make sure to give the new family space. I try to find the balance between capturing all the important moments and giving the families time to savor each other.

BPP: Is there anything that has surprised you or inspired you when capturing a birth on film?

DL: Everything. No really, I know it sounds silly but everything about birth photography surprises me and inspires me, at every birth.

BPP: You also do family photo-shoots, with newborn babies and with older children. Any suggestions on how a family can prepare for and get the most value out of a photo session?

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DL: Each type of session is different and I have different suggestions for preparing for each type of shoot.  Generally, I do a pre-session questionnaire and consultation to help nail down things like the must have shots, the location and the clothing choices. I also help with styling the clothes, and have been known to go to a client’s house to look at clothes when asked. Sometimes people text me photos of potential outfits while they are shopping and I’ll send them my thoughts. I know some of these decisions can get overwhelming and stressful, so I try to make it as easy as I can.

I think aiming to have everyone well rested and fed is very helpful, l and I try to bring snacks with me to shoots. I also tell parents not worry too much about their kids’ behavior at the session.  Our goal is to have fun and be silly – for an hour or so normal behavior rules don’t apply. It’s also important that the parents are relaxed and having fun, because kids pick up on moods and will react to them.

BPP: We live in an age of cell-phone and digital photography. Any pointers for parents who are wanting to capture themselves and their newborn on film? Do you recommend purchasing a high-quality camera with a good lens?

DL: This is a question I get asked a lot, and a couple years ago I wrote a full-length article about it. Basically, it says to:

  1. Try to find a unique viewpoint
  2. Don’t use the built-in flash (if you can avoid it)
  3. Don’t make kids pose for photos all the time
  4. Use the rule of thirds (see more in my article)
  5. Take lots of pictures and have fun!

One thing I would like to add to that list: Watch for emotions like laughter and even crying. Emotions tell stories and the photos that capture them are the ones you’ll want to revisit.

Regarding cameras: DSLRs are fun and if you take the time to learn to use one, you will likely capture better images than with anything else.  The cameras on iphones and other point and shoots are pretty amazing now, so if you aren’t tech-y or don’t want to spend a lot of time learning, a DSLR is not a necessity.  I probably use my iPhone for casual photos of my family more than any other camera I own.

BPP: Do you enjoy capturing your own family on film? Do they shy away from the camera or embrace your art?

DL: My two older kids love having their pictures taken.  My youngest one is going through a phase where he turns his back on me whenever the camera is out. Children of photographers probably have the most well documented lives of all people, and mine are no exception. I love having all these memories that I can revisit but I also make a point to leave my camera in the bag. That way I can be with my family and experience life with them rather than documenting it.

Maternity and family portrait by Deborah Lykins Photography Austin, Texas

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to expecting or new parents, what would it be? (this can be photography related, or just sanity-related)

DL: I recently had someone say to me when I was feeling overwhelmed, “Let go. Everything is perfect and it is the way it needs to be.”  It really resonated with me. The reminder that even when things feel too intense, as they often do when you are a parent, everything is perfect.  Even while we are flawed, we are as we need to be.

Thank you so much Deborah for sharing your sweet words, your photo-wizardry wisdom and your gorgeous portraits with us!

C & K ♥

Parenting as an Adoptive, Single Dad :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Kyler & Terry

Kyler & Terry

Meet Terry Cox… amazing dad to one of the coolest kids we know.  We’re excited to feature Terry because he brings two perspectives to our Wisdom table: that of an adoptive parent and a single dad.  Terry describes himself as a South Austinite, trying to stay young in mind and body. Terry worked as a licensed counselor for several years before transitioning into a business development role that he has grown into for the last 10+ years.  His hobbies include cycling, surfing, and staying active enough to eat Mexican food whenever he wants.  His top priorities in life are his faith, his son, his health, and his close friends and family.  Terry and, his son, Kyler, just radiate joy when they’re together – and it’s infectious.

BPP: Please tell us briefly about what led you to decide to adopt, and how you chose the agency?

TC: My now ex-wife and I both shared a desire to adopt a child even prior to our marriage.  She has a bi-racial daughter who played into our decision to have a “multi-color” non-traditional family.  We looked at both adoption and fostering, and it really became a no-brainer for us to go the foster to adoption route.  There is a huge need in our community in the foster system, plus it didn’t make sense monetarily, logistically, or for other reason for us to go the international adoption route.  We chose a foster agency that provided information and training, and off we were.

BPP:  As a father to be – how did you emotionally/mentally prepare for your son’s arrival?  What if any of those preparations felt unique to his being adopted?

TC: Things happened very fast for us.  Just a month after completing foster training, we got a call about Kyler (my son).  The agency gave us specifics about him and his biological parents, and told us we had 48 hours to make a decision (he was about to be discharged from the hospital at 4 weeks old). After much discussion with each other and family, and prayer, we decided that he was our boy.  It’s a pretty surreal experience.  One day you are on a business trip, the next day there is a knock on your door from two women holding your new baby.  It’s like the stork showed up.  From a preparation standpoint, we had nothing set up, not even a nursery.  Just open arms and hearts to welcome this amazing little baby.  In our experience, it seemed all the prep work that people feel they need is sometimes manufactured and causes more stress than good.

Emotionally, we just began the process right there, raising our son.  This was a wild ride, but I dove in head first and loved watching my son begin to bond with us.  Unique to adoption, for me, is this overwhelming feeling that I chose this specific boy.  There was a need, and we filled the void, and in turn he filled us.  It’s a great emotional experience.  It has strengthened my faith in many ways.

BPP: How did you feel and respond (both positive/difficult aspects) as you watched your new baby form the huge bond with his mom?

TC: I loved watching him bond with his mom, his sister and his extended family.  As parents, we developed the safe and secure world that our son would thrive in.  One thing I’m proud of is that even though our marriage didn’t last, we created a very nurturing and thriving environment for Kyler that continues today.

BPP: How did you and your baby’s mom try to support each other through the transition of adoption, and then welcoming a new baby?

TC: We were a team for the most part.  We shared night and day duties and were both active in all aspects of raising our baby.  With that said, things got stressful with new routines, habits, etc.  Looking back, I realize how we just took things as they came and adjusted to the moment.  Our extended family was very supportive as well.

BPP: What advice can you give new moms on how to best include and support their partners during this insane new parent transition?

TC: Make your partners a part of the process.  I’m sure that looks different for each person, but communicate and encourage your partner to participate in all aspects.  I think men can be passive and on the sideline, and my in opinion, nothing good comes from that approach.  Be active and engaged.  Moms… push your partners to engage.

BPP: When you went through your divorce, what steps did you take to keep yourself sane and strong as a parent?

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TC: Family, family, family.  My sister lives nearby and provided much emotional and logistical support.  I also re-invested in key friendships and in activities that re-fueled me like exercise.  After our divorce, my son was a little over a year old and was with me 50% of the time.  I was still very active in raising him, and had to learn to co-parent with my ex.  Some may think that raising a son caused more stress for me through the divorce, but playing the role of father is what kept me sane.  I realized that being a dad was the biggest return for me.  It kept me focused.

BPP: What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced in co-parenting with your ex?  How have you tried to address the challenges?

I think the biggest challenge is watching your tongue and not lashing out at your ex, even if it feels warranted.  A challenge for our situation is remaining calm with each other when one of us is stressed or irritable.  Another challenge is having to navigate logistics with holidays, work requirements, birthdays, etc.  The better two people can extend grace to each other and recognize that they are really on the same team, the better things can go.  Patience and taking a one-down approach, even when it’s not easy, always pays off in the end.

BPP: What advice would you offer new parents who end up divorcing while their children are young?

TC: Swallow your pride and remember, you have a child together, and your number one priority is to raise him or her to be healthy.  If your feelings get hurt, get over it…it’s never as big a deal as it seems.  If you’re angry, pause, and then pause again.  Never talk about a heated topic like visitation or money when you’re angry.  As much as you can, learn to celebrate key things for your child (birthdays, sporting events, church, milestones, etc.) together.  Don’t put your child in the middle of having to plan two things to placate his feuding parents.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?

TC: Don’t compare yourself to others…everyone is different…be genuine and real.  Whoops, that may be more than one.

Thank you Terry, for sharing your story with us.  We are grateful for awesome dads like you. – C & K ♥

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On Postpartum Depression and Anxiety :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Dr. Boyd photo

Postpartum depression and anxiety are issues that affect many women, and yet our society does not discuss or address these topics nearly enough. That is why we are featuring the expertise of Dr. Kelly Boyd for this week’s Wednesday Wisdom. Dr. Boyd is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in Round Rock, Texas, specializing in reproductive related issues including endometriosis, fertility/assisted reproduction, high-risk pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum anxiety/depression, NICU issues, medical termination, and perinatal grief and loss.  She is on the advisory board of the Pregnancy and Postpartum Health Alliance of Texas, the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals and is an active member of Postpartum Support International.

Dr. Boyd facilitates a free weekly postpartum support group at Any Baby Can, and also does a bi-monthly pregnancy and infant loss group at St. David’s Hospital.  She’s the mother of two teens and is very active within the parenting support community.  We are so honored to feature her experience and insight on postpartum issues, which impact so many parents, yet are surrounded by much unnecessary stigma, rendering them difficult to openly discuss.  And they need to be openly discussed.

BPP:  How do you define “Reproductive Psychology”, and what drew you to focusing your practice on these issues?

DKB: Reproductive psychology is defined as the practice of emotional support and counseling given to individuals, families and groups dealing with various types of reproductive issues that don’t go as planned in any part of the reproductive process.

Many people assume the reproductive process will just happen, but often it does not, and we are faced with statements and experiences that can result in feeling “it wasn’t supposed to be like this”.  Often these struggles can be traumatic and can affect a person/relationship physically, emotionally, relationally, financially and spiritually. Supportive reproductive counseling can help the person become more aware, gain insight and feel less alone in a process that often feels scary or out of control.

I became interested in reproductive psychology after personally experiencing many of these issues myself.  I also began to notice something unique about the assessment and treatment of reproductive related depression, anxiety and grief.  While there was tremendous medical care for families, little was being done to emotionally support families through reproductive challenges.  So, I became passionate about serving and educating the community and health professionals about the psychology of the reproductive process.

BPP: What are a few major differences between postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety?

DKB: One of my passions is educating about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders.  People often only refer to “postpartum depression”, but it’s often not only depressive symptoms.  Many women experience both depression and anxiety, and sometimes more of one than the other.  Postpartum panic, postpartum OCD and postpartum PTSD also fall under the umbrella of postpartum anxiety disorders. Here are some of the main differences:

Postpartum Depression includes:

  • Sadness, irritability, excessive guilt, changes in eating and sleeping, difficulty concentrating, hopelessness, decreased interest in self, baby or things that were once enjoyable.

Postpartum Anxiety includes:

  • Excessive worry or fear about the baby, health issues, fear that something terrible may happen, panic attacks, difficulty breathing, fear of losing control. Postpartum OCD (a sub-symptom of anxiety) often includes repetitive, obsessive scary thoughts about harm to the self, baby or family. Postpartum PTSD often happens with a traumatic birth experience and can include many of the above symptoms with the inclusion of nightmares, flashbacks and a re-experiencing of the trauma.

BPP: We imagine that when you meet new clients with postpartum issues, you sometimes wish they’d contacted you sooner.  What are some early signs that a woman should reach out for help?

DKB: Often women don’t reach out for help because they are not sure what’s happening, or because of shame and guilt about how they are feeling at a time our society often says is the happiest time in a woman’s life.

Warning signs indicating a need for help:

  1. Increased isolation and loneliness
  2. Prior mental health history in self or family that has worsened during pregnancy or postpartum
  3. Lack of support or relationships with the baby, partners and friends are becoming affected
  4. Sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, difficulty with breast feeding may also cause changes in mood that may signal the need for help.
  5. Fear of losing control and a sense of being overwhelmed by everything

BPP: When you meet a woman struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, what resources do you try to mobilize for her?

DKB: Individual and couples counseling, postpartum support groups, online support and blogs, increased social support systems, additional support for increasing sleep, nutritional needs, breaks for self care, exercise, massage, acupuncture, meditation/yoga, supplements and/or medication assessment.

BPP: What advice do you have for parenting partners, friends and family members of women struggling with these issues?

  1. Be supportive and listen to her fears, feelings and concerns. Validate that most of this is a time limited hormonal and life style adjustment that will improve.
  2. Remind them that they are not alone. This is not forever and not a reflection of the type of parent they are. It is time limited, and with help, increased support and awareness about postpartum issues, they will get well.
  3. Educate everyone about what postpartum IS, and what it is NOT. There are many myths. Get the facts.  Great resources for families are Postpartum Support International and Postpartum Progress.
  4. Hire and/or give additional help with household chores, night time baby wakings, sleep and self care time.

BPP: Why do you think postpartum issues are so difficult for women to talk about?

DKB: Because of the shame and stigma of maternal emotions being anything other than joyous.  There are so many motherhood myths and pressures on new parents, and often we are taught to not talk about difficult or painful emotions regarding our children or adjustment to our new role.  Many women also fear that they will be judged as not being a “good mom” if they express how they truly feel at times.  Additionally, many express a fear of being viewed as weak or a failure if they don’t get it “just right”.  Lastly, our media has mainly profiled extreme cases of postpartum psychosis, and many women fear they will become like that, or associated with the idea that they may harm themselves or their children if they talk about postpartum issues.  This is simply not true.  Postpartum psychosis is rare.  Postpartum anxiety and depression are very common, treatable and are nothing to be ashamed about.

postpartum_depression

BPP: What would you say to a woman who feels intense shame about her postpartum issues?

DKB: What’s most important is that women realize this is a treatable, time limited experience.  With help, increased education, awareness and support, they will get well.  It’s not a reflection of them or their parenting.  It’s something we get through and are often better for it after we heal and get the well deserved support.

BPP: What are things expectant parents can do before baby’s arrival to prepare for the possibility of postpartum issues?

DKB: Women and families should consider getting support and educated in their pregnancy. Identify potential risk factors, and develop a postpartum intervention/prevention plan. Assess needs for all family members and get resources lined up before the baby arrives. A good prevention plan, open discussion about feelings, fears, expectations regarding sleep, feedings, household chores and transitions often significantly decreases postpartum distress for everyone.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?

DKB: “Please place your own oxygen mask on, before assisting others.”
Many new parents are forgetting how important it is to care for self because they solely focus on the baby or others, often resulting in depletion and exhaustion. Take time for self, which in turn will be a benefit for everyone!

Thank you, Dr. Boyd, for your insight into these incredibly important issues, that we hope will be talked about more and more openly.

Here’s To More Sanity and Less Shame,

C & K ♥

On Homebirth and Midwifery :: Wednesday Wisdom

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LaurieMeet Laurie Fremgen, Certified Professional Midwife (CPM).  Laurie has been providing midwifery services in the Austin and surrounding area since 1996.  She’s passionate about home birth, parents and babies, and we are excited to bring her perspective to Baby Proofed Parents, where we want to create a safe environment in which all viewpoints about birth and parenting can be openly discussed.  I am proud to introduce Laurie for many reasons – the biggest being that she attended the births of both my children.  Her strong, soulful, capable presence helped make both of their births the most powerfully alive moments of my life to date.  Check out her beautiful website, HoneyDue Homebirth, for more information on her services and information on midwifery/homebirth. ♥ – Cheryl

BPP: What drew you to become a midwife?
LF: I think it was in my blood from a very young age. I used to pretend play when I was very little that my barbies would be pregnant and give birth. When I was a preteen, my Dad was in the hospital a lot and I had a cousin who work in Labor and Delivery. When I entered college, I was a pre-med student hoping to focus on either pediatrics or obstetrics. I very quickly realized I didn’t like the competitive nature.  Just a few short years later, I became pregnant. This was before the days of the internet and I really wanted to have a homebirth, but had absolutely no idea how to go about it. I ended up with a very traditional hospital birth – induction, epidural, episiotomy – even though I had expressed my desire for a natural birth to my doctor, and I was not happy.  Thus began my serious quest to discover a different way to have a baby.

BPP: If you could correct one common misperception about midwifery, what would it be?
LF: Midwives are highly skilled and highly educated people. We work very hard to become midwives and we work very hard in our job. I think many people in the medical profession don’t believe there is standardized training for midwives. Having a CPM certification – Certified Professional Midwife – is the equivalent to an advanced degree like a masters or a PhD.

Laurie and her sons.

Laurie and her sons.

BPP: Since there are many, would you correct another misperception?
LF: I also don’t think people realize that being a midwife is a specific lifestyle. We are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If we want to take a vacation, it requires planning a year in advance. This is a life of service and devotion. We get up at all hours of the night, in any weather, no matter how we feel to attend our clients. We miss birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, plays, games, recitals and quiet time with our families. We live with our phones, we are always accessible – we live and breathe midwifery. When a woman is a midwife, her entire family participates. We don’t complain because we all feel called to this profession.

BPP: In your opinion, what are a few top advantages to having a home birth instead of a hospital birth?
LF: I think the biggest advantage is that the woman gets to experience birth in the way Nature or God intended. Labor begins spontaneously, travels the course that is best for both mom and baby, and both are given the space to greet each other in a quiet, loving way. This sounds simple, but it is profoundly huge.  If a woman is willing to face her fear, willing to face the pain, willing to face the uncertainty, she will be greatly and richly rewarded.

BPP: There seems to be a big divide between proponents of hospital births and home births.  What do you believe could help close that gap?
LF: I believe that it is very important to respect each other’s approach. I always learn when I am in the
hospital – I learn from the nurses and the doctors. But the nurses and the doctors could learn so much from us too.  Midwives are experts in birth.  Nurses and doctors know managed birth, but many of them have never sat with a woman through the whole process, letting labor unfold without ANY intervention – from beginning to end.

BPP: How can parenting partners best support moms during the birth process?
LF: One of the most important things a partner can do is to tune into the needs of the laboring mom. The mom will intuitively know the position to be in, how to breathe and what she needs to do to get the baby out. If the partner can help her to tune into that intuition, that is the best support she can have.  Supporting the mom isn’t about breathing techniques or positions of labor – although knowledge of those things can be helpful.  Giving birth and supporting the mom is about being with the process and letting the process unfold.

BPP: What part of witnessing the birth process moves you every time?
LF: There is always a palpable moment of surrender where the woman goes from some degree of resisting the force of labor to just acceptance. It is profoundly moving to witness this.

BPP: What are the best resources (videos, books, etc) that expectant parents could reference for education on having a home birth?
LF: One of my favorite videos is called Birth Day. It is a short video of a midwife in Mexico giving birth to her third baby.  You can see that she is working hard and she is so real about it. She noticed that when she was moving towards her husband during a contraction she felt less pain, but when she was moving away from him during a contraction she felt more pain. The labor process is an oxytocin experience. Oxytocin is the hormone of love and bonding, so this video clearly shows how important love is during a birth.

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
LF: A baby is going to cry. If you are at the end of your rope, give the baby to your partner – trust that your partner can totally take of it – and go for a walk around the block. You will feel like a new person, ready to face the crying baby.  The other thing I think is so important is sleeping with the baby. You can nurse and sleep at the same time.

BPP: Of all the births you’ve attended, which mom was the most amazing? (don’t answer that) :+)
LF: It is hard to say which ones are the most amazing. Each woman’s journey is so different, even though the framework of giving birth is the same. A woman who comes out the other end, seeing herself a little more deeply and who can take her experience and transform it into a force of love in this world is amazing.  Each birth has that potential.

More about Laurie, midwifery and homebirth at HoneyDue Homebirth. ♥

honeydue

 

Three Times A Dad :: Wednesday Wisdom

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The Lee Family

The Lee Family

Meet Lloyd Lee. Lloyd is an awesome dad with a unique perspective – he has coached his wife, Chelese, through three different births in two different settings. And they have three sweet daughters to show for it. When not spending time at home with “the girls”, this native Texan is working hard at his green construction & solar business, Native, or enjoying BBQ and quality craft-beers at his family-owned micro-brewery, Smoke’n Hops.

BPP: As we can see in your photo, you are surrounded by lovely ladies. Be honest – what’s it like to be the only male in a family of five?

LL: I’ve learned that although many people make emotionally-based decisions which they later rationalize with logic, the women in my life are content with just the first part of this decision making process.  Besides this, there is a great deal more glitter, random singing, dressing up, and hugging than the primarily male household in which I grew up.

BPP: Your wife, Chelese, gave birth to your first little girl over seven years ago. Can you remember what that moment was like?

LL: Definitely.  It was a mixture of pride in Chelese, astonishment that her body could do what I was witnessing, relief that the baby was healthy, and an immediate sense of heightened responsibility.

BPP: You have had the unique experience of coaching Chelese through two hospital births and one midwife-assisted birth in a birthing center. Can you share with us the key differences that you noticed between the two settings?

LL: The hospital births felt like a well-rehearsed process.  Not so much for us, but for the numerous staff members who had been through this countless times. They knew and followed the process and if things weren’t going accordingly, changes were made to bring it back within bounds. The birthing center was a completely different experience.  They approach each birth as a unique experience and allow the mother and baby to dictate the rules vs. having preconceived notions of what it should be like.  This fundamental difference empowers the mother to focus on the job at hand and not worry about missing a deadline for progress, which will result in intervention.

BPP: Since you are now a childbirth veteran, any suggestions for dads or birth partners on how to support the woman who is laboring and delivering?

LL: Know your partner and how they want to be supported.  Support comes in lots of forms and not everyone responds to it the same way.  My wife appreciated verbal support, physical contact, and reminders of how the birth was progressing.  Try to stick to the birth plan and act as the liaison between the mother and hospital staff.  Without this, the mother may make decisions to expedite delivery that may leave her feeling defeated later.

BPP: Without getting too graphic, can you share what it is like to be at the other end of the labor and delivery experience? Oh, what the heck, you can get graphic if you would like.

LL: Pretty amazing.  I never fully appreciated why it’s referred to as labor until witnessing it myself.  The “miracle” of childbirth does not involve pixie dust or magic.  It’s laden with blood, sweat, and tears.  Nothing reminds you that we are another animal roaming this planet like the instant that your baby’s head pops out.

BPP: Any suggestions on how birth partners can communicate with the nurse, doctors, doulas and/or midwives?

LL: I would just recommend communicating desires related to how you’d like the birth to go.  It doesn’t guarantee it will go as planned, but having a plan helps all parties understand expectations.

BPP: After each baby was born, how did you support Chelese as she recovered from the delivery?

LL: The biggest area of support is to let the mother sleep.  Laboring and giving birth are exhausting and having a new baby that relies on its mother for food makes for limited sleep.  Also, it sometimes takes the baby a little while to get the hang of breastfeeding.  Being supportive through this process is important because it can be stressful for the mother.

BPP: What was it like for you the first few days and weeks after bringing your new babies home? 

LL: It’s amazing how quickly you forget the size of a newborn.  I spend the first few days marveling at the tiny-ness of the new addition to the family.

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BPP: : If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to expecting or new parents, what would it be?

LL: It’s cliche that kids change your lives, which is absolutely true, but I think it’s important to not let your kids change how you live.  We try to do most of the same things we used to do before kids, with them in tow.  Kids are resilient and keeping them isolated to the house doesn’t help them or the new parents.

Lloyd’s Sanity Savers:

  • When acting as a birth partner, know your partner’s wishes and the birth plan before heading into the delivery room. You will be functioning as a support person, advocate and liaison for the woman that is giving birth. That’s a big job to take on!
  • After baby is born, mom will continue to need emotional support and time to rest while she recovers from the delivery and adjusts to breast-feeding.
  • Witnessing the birth of a child is amazing and inspiring – savor the experience and don’t let the adventure stop there. Your children will benefit if you continue to live your life to the fullest, with them along for the ride.

Thanks for sharing the often untold story of what it is like on other side of the delivery experience, Lloyd. We appreciate your insights and perspective! – C & K ♥

Labor & Delivery Nurse :: Wednesday Wisdom

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emmyesession-1223

Emmy, her fiancé, Ross, and Charlotte.

One of the goals of this blog is to share the experiences and wisdom of the amazing peeps who help deliver babies into the world. We will be featuring interviews with midwives, ObGyn’s, and doulas, presenting a wide range of opinions and perspectives. For this Wednesday’s Wisdom, we are talking with Labor and Delivery Nurse, Emmy Voosen, RN. Emmy graduated from UT Austin’s nursing school in 2011. She has worked as an L&D nurse for the last two years  and genuinely adores her job. Emmy says that, “Bringing new life into the world is overwhelmingly rewarding and exciting!”

BPP: Emmy, you seem to have chosen the right career path – it is evident how much you love what you do. How did you decide to become a labor and delivery nurse?
EV: It was very easy, actually. My mother was a labor and delivery nurse and I can remember thinking, ‘Man, coolest job ever!’ as a child. I followed my childhood dream, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that this is where I am supposed to be.

BPP: Approximately how many births have you assisted with?
EV: Oh, goodness. Too many to count!

BPP: What has surprised you the most about being an L&D nurse?
EV: The stress level. Although deliveries usually bring smiles and happy times, some nights are so busy (darn those full moons!) that there is little to no time to use the restroom, drink water, or even sit down during the 12 hour shift. It is a good thing I love what I do!

BPP: Any suggestions on how parents-to-be can prepare for labor, delivery and/or postpartum recovery?
EV: Attend prenatal classes. In my experience, mothers and fathers who do so are less anxious and have a better idea of what to expect. Look around your area! Here in New Braunfels at Christus Santa Rosa Hospital, multiple classes are offered—including breastfeeding, childbirth preparation, big brother/big sister, and how to take care of mom/baby once you’re home. There are tons of resources out there to help expectant and new moms and their families.

BPP: In your opinion, advantages and disadvantages of having a hospital birth?
EV: After seeing some of the things that can go wrong during childbirth, I could not, in good conscience, recommend that anyone give birth outside of a hospital (just my opinion). Although hospitals can feel sterile and cold, there is a comfort in knowing that you are surrounded by professionals equipped to handle emergencies for mother and baby, and that you are close to an OR if a cesarean section becomes necessary. Some of the benefits of delivering at home or in a birthing center, not within a hospital, would be the comfort and familiarity of the environment and freedom to move and change positions without being on continuous fetal monitoring. However, it all comes down to making informed decisions and personal preferences.

BPP: Do you have a favorite birth story?
EV: Being my cousin’s nurse for the birth of her first daughter (she has 3 boys!) will always have a special place in my heart. It was an honor to be her nurse and witness another miracle of life.

BPP: How can birth partners be helpful to the woman who is delivering?
EV: Take prenatal classes together. Discuss the mother’s plan and wishes for labor so the partner is on the same page and knows how to support her best. Simply be present (examples: hold her hand, rub her back.) Every woman is different, but having a partner there to listen to your needs/requests/complaints and provide unconditional support is extremely helpful during the challenging, yet rewarding, process of labor and delivery.

BPP: How do you interact with doulas and midwives who are in the delivery room with the expecting parents?
EV: We work as a team. It is their job as well as mine to advocate for the patient. We collaborate to provide the best care for the expectant mother and her family.

BPP: You have not become a parent yet. Has being an L&D nurse impacted your views and plans for starting a family?
EV: Definitely! Being an L&D nurse has really opened my eyes. I have seen the love and joy that is brought on with the birth of a new baby, but I have also encountered just how much work this new bundle of joy can be. Having a baby is life changing and I have come to realize that there will be a time for me, but just not right now. ; )

BPP: If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
EV: This is more for mothers-to-be, but I would recommend becoming educated on the process, while keeping an open mind when it comes to your labor and childbirth experience. Often times, people have rigid and specific birth plans. This can lead to more anxiety and, occasionally, feelings of failure if things don’t go exactly as planned. Also, use the nurses, ask questions, and let us know how we can make you most comfortable during the labor process. We are there to support you during this exciting, yet nerve-racking experience!

Emmy’s Sanity Savers:

  • Take prenatal classes with your birth partner so that you both feel informed and prepared for childbirth and postpartum recovery. (We personally recommend a baby proofed parents workshop. Just sayin’.)
  • Keep an open mind about the labor and delivery process. Be informed, think positively and then go with the flow.
  • Communicate openly and freely with your nurse (or midwife or doula). If they’re anything like Emmy, they feel honored to be part of your birth experience and they want to support you in any way they can!

Thanks Emmy – great pointers for any expecting couple, whether they are planning a hospital or home birth!  – C & K ♥

 

Pre & Postnatal Yoga Guru :: Wednesday Wisdom

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Hannah

For our inaugural Wednesday Wisdom, we had the pleasure of interviewing Hannah Williams. Hannah describes herself as a “Yoga teachin’, Guitar Slingin’ Mamasita of two very sparkly little girls.” She has a passion for creating space, community (and a good workout!) to mamas in their baby-making years. She has been a student of yoga for twenty years and a teacher for seven with a specialty in pre and postnatal yoga. Being a musician as well, Hannah is known for her musical playlists and an occasional serenade on guitar during savasana. She has also trained with Birthing From Within and loves to support mothers unconditionally no matter what their birthing or mothering preferences are and encourages the love and non-judgment for all mamas out there!

Short on time? Skip to the Three Sanity Savers.

BPP: When and how did you become a yoga instructor?
HW: In 2005 after I moved to Austin, my practice became a lot more regular than it had been in the past. I fell in love with some amazing teachers and went religiously to their classes. This is awful, but one day the yoga studio got broken into and my teacher’s purse was stolen. That moment was so upsetting. I remember just standing there shocked and said in tears “How could anyone do that to people that devote their lives to making the lives of others better?” That’s when it hit me. I wanted to dive into my yoga studies and devote MY life to uplifting and empowering others. I got in that moment how special that was.

BPP: Has yoga impacted your own life as a parent?
HW: We all have our crazy days…..But I have much fewer of them because of my yoga practice! I think the biggest thing has been self care, whatever that means for you. Journal writing can be as powerful and impactful as meditation for me. But these days since having my second child, I focus on gratitude whenever I possibly can, when I roll out of bed, brush my teeth, whenever!  I also get into my yoga room and do some kind of practice. Even if it’s five minutes. Five minutes of meditation and intention setting completely shifts the course of my day for the better. Most importantly practicing Ahimsa (loving kindness towards myself and all beings.) When my five year old is having a meltdown I can pull out all my hair and join her or I can give her love and compassion. The latter always wins.

BPP: What are the benefits of yoga for expecting or new parents?
HW: The practice of being present. When we meditate or follow our breath in a yoga class we are training our brains to become still. We are absorbed in the moment and filling it with awareness and intention.  Releasing expectation is also HUGE. We put so much pressure on ourselves and our partners and it can cause a great deal of inner turmoil and conflict. We can have more positive outcomes when we focus on what’s working instead and on what we appreciate in ourselves and others. And of course yoga helps to relieve all those aches and pains we get during pregnancy and postpartum! While pregnant, it’s so important to stay strong as well as open up space in our bodies by stretching and lubrication our joints. Our center of gravity completely shifts, and that causes a lot of strain and pain in our back and pelvis. We can make it a whole lot more comfortable with yoga poses and body awareness. After the baby comes, we spend so much time sitting and nursing or feeding that our our shoulders roll forward and need to be opened as well as our quads and hip flexors. It also comes back to self care. We’ve got to fill our cup or we have nothing to give. The community building and connecting with other expecting or new parents is also something that’s really special. It’s one of my favorite things about teaching. I love watching those friendships build.

BPP: Favorite pose for an expecting mom?
HW: Wow, there are so many I love. But I think if I had to pick just one favorite it would have to be Viparita Karani (legs up the wall.) I call it “The Mother of all prenatal poses.” You elevate your hips on a bolster or folded blankets so that there is still proper blood flow to your heart and it feels so amazing. It releases the anti-stress hormone, serotonin so it’s very helpful in reducing anxiety and helping you sleep better which is oh-so-common during pregnancy. It is also great for relieving low back and hip pain, varicose and spider veins, edema (swelling of the feet and ankles), hemorrhoids, really, you name it and this pose is a cure all! Of course there are always exceptions and contraindications though like high blood pressure, so it’s important to chat with your care provider and teacher before practicing this at home.

BPP: Do you encourage new parents to bring their infants to yoga class?
HW: Absolutely. As long as it’s a postnatal class. Usually when they’re really little we can’t break away from them and so it’s better to bring them! We also do baby yoga, we sing songs to them with movement, we practice poses with them and expose them to yoga! We get to nurse them or feed them, change them, whatever they need and we’re still absorbing YOGA and connecting with other new Moms and babies.

BPP: Would you recommend prenatal yoga to a mom who has never practiced yoga before?
HW: Yes. Many Moms start out with prenatal yoga. Most classes, unless specified are geared towards all levels. Beginners are a huge majority in prenatal yoga. I feel like I offer more modifications to advanced students! Although by the third trimester even the most advanced students are slowing way down!

BPP: Have you ever been brought to tears by a yoga student or class?
HW: Oh yes, many times. Once when a mom was sharing about her worries of how her older child would feel when the baby is born. She started crying and the next thing you knew there weren’t many dry eyes. I think we could all relate or imagine what that must feel like. And there has been loss. That’s always really hard. I had the most amazing student several years ago who shared the loss of her baby a year prior and was there every week in her second pregnancy with so much love and attention to her every move, every breath. She was the strongest most beautiful woman. I told her that one day  after class and then cried my eyes out as soon as she walked away. I wasn’t as good at holding back the tears when I was pregnant with my students.

BPP: You’re also a musician. How has music played a role in your yoga practice and your life as a parent?
HW: Yes! I love to talk about the link between yoga and music. Music has played a role in my practice by my carefully thought out playlists, as well as songs I’ll sometimes sing in savasana that are appropriate to the theme or time in life. But it’s yoga that has impacted my music even more. I am such a better musician, artist and performer since diving into yoga in teacher training. I have an entire workshop dedicated to that! (Yoga for Musicians) And back to why I became a teacher in the first place, it’s the same with music. Most of my songs have a positive message or a silver lining. My intention is to inspire, uplift and empower people through music and yoga. At home music is on a lot of the time. We have many dance parties (in the womb and out!) And my five year old has been singing since she could talk basically. She actually kicked me off stage at my own show and made up a beautiful song on the spot. She did it again when we were recording my record and we put it on the album and she tore the house down at my record release show! My littlest is obsessed with the guitar. Every time I play she crawls over, eyes and mouth open wide and starts strumming. My husband is also a guitar player and singer who’s playing all the time and we have a music studio that they love to hang out in. I’ve been finally getting back to writing a lot since having my second kiddo and I play and sing every day. It’s just a part of life at home! The most rewarding thing has been to hear my daughter sing my songs. Especially the really positive ones. That’s what it’s all about!

BPP: Final question –  If you had to give one sanity-saving tip to new parents, what would it be?
HW: Do something nice for yourself every day, no matter what it is, just take care of yourself. Love your partner, appreciate all they do and be grateful as much as you can for all the wonderful things in your life. Try to keep positivity the running theme in your life and listen to inspirational books on tape or documentaries while you do your regular household duties throughout the day. Laugh a lot and have date nights! Oh wait, you said one tip! Here it is. Be grateful and positive and everything else will fall into place!

Hannah’s Sanity Savers:

  • With or without experience, pregnant and new moms can benefit from yoga.
  • Yoga helps parents to slow down, breathe and be present in the midst of the chaos.
  • Putting aside time every day for self-care and gratitude (even if it is only for a few minutes) will help you to remain more positive and be a more happy, stable parent.

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Learn more about Hannah, her yoga classes and her music at any of these links:

Yoga (RYT): http://www.hannahwilliamsyoga.com

Meetup Prenatal / Postnatal Yoga in Dripping Springs: http://www.meetup.com/Prenatal-Postnatal-Yoga-in-SW-Austin-Dripping-Springs

FB Page: http://www.facebook.com/hannahwilliamsyoga

FB Resource group for Hill Country Mamas: http://www.facebook.com/groups/hillcountrymamalove

Music: http://www.hannahwilliamsmusic.com

Thanks Hannah – we feel more relaxed already! – C&K ♥

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